So much junk, so many scumbags.

A recent comment posted to one of my blog entries:

Unquestionably believe that which you said. Your favorite justification seemed to be on the net the simplest thing to be aware of. I say to you, I certainly get annoyed while people consider worries that they plainly do not know about. You managed to hit the nail upon the top and defined out the whole thing without having side-effects , people can take a signal. Will likely be back to get more. Thanks.

Typical of blog spam comments, the commenter includes a link to a Fotki.com “journal” in Spanish, which then links to a Spanish version of Holly Hayden’s [1] “H Miracle” hemorrhoid “cure”. Sheer snake oil, marketed to the most gullible sector of society. I perused the website until nausea overtook me, and will not provide a link to it. For only $69.96… Wait! Time-sensitive discount, only $37.00, you get

“a completely natural, guaranteed cure that’s far cheaper and safer than recurring creams or surgery … in my honest opinion. (That’s only the price of a few movie tickets …. a good family dinner …. or just 0.62 cents for 2 months.)

hmiracle

As seen on Ask, MSN, AOL and Yahoo: 100% pure baloney.

This lady is repackaging Preparation H, or manufacturing something akin to it, and selling it at ten prices with the worst sort of dishonest, barely-legal hucksterism. Notice the disclaimer:

The H Miracle system has a consistent 96.4% proven success rate at eliminating hemorrhoids safely, powerfully, naturally and easily. The small percent that doesn’t permanently cure includes those who may have a rare, complicated health issue that goes well beyond hemorrhoids and its usual variations. I have to be honest about this … despite the fact that the vast, vast majority of sufferers (including yourself) will be raving about the phenomenal results. Luckily, we have a personal strategy inside for those with more complex issues and even they end up benefiting tremendously …

In other words, if you buy our crap and it doesn’t perform, we’ve got an even more expensive product for pitiful anomalies like yourself. But in the meantime, we’ve got your money and our asses are covered.

The dishonesty of websites like this – and there are thousands and thousands out there – dismay me no end. People read, people believe without doing any research whatsoever, and people waste billions of dollars on quack remedies which do nothing for them. The link refers specifically to weight-loss nostrums, but there are countless other schemes and scams, many of them promoted by prominent figures who are either paid for their endorsements or who were bamboozled into believing that these products had some actual value.

The simple fact that the manufacturer of this product resorts to injecting trash comments like this into people’s blogs, hoping to raise their search-engine rankings, is a bright red flag waving in the middle of the meadow – it says “Stop!”

stop

Crampton, Gertrude and Gergely, Tibor, Tootle, Golden Press, 1945

No legitimate product, service, or company would ever advertise like this. Beware of such; stay far, far away.

On that note, today I received a memo from “Ben Bernanke, Chairman of the Federal Reserve Bank”:

Federal Reserve Bank Board New York.

NOTIFICATION OF CREDIT FROM Federal Reserve Bank.
Attn: Beneficiary: Please Sir.

Based on our findings in the investigations department we wish to warn you against some Miscreants, Hoodlums and Touts who go about scamming innocent people by claiming to be who they are not and thereby tarnishing the image of this wonderful country.

Instruction was given from the Office of Presidency ,United Nations (UN), World Bank and (IMF) to transfer your overdue fund through International ATM Debit/Master Card which you can use in any ATM and cash point machine anywhere in the world, shopping or banking for all your needs.
This directives was given to us at the Federal Reserve Bank after the joint meeting of the above mentioned bodies to help check the activity of fraud and illegal movement of money across the world.

You can withdrawal money from your International ATM Debit/Master Card from any ATM MACHINE location or center of your choice nearest to you, in any part of the world. You are advise to reconfirm your address where the Courier service will dispatch your ATM Card to you within 48hrs.We Have Been Mandated By The ECOWAS Parliament To Issue Out $10.5 Million only on your contract, inheritance and lotto promos related funds Also For Your Information, You Have To Stop Any Further Communication With Any Other Person (S) Or Office(S) To Avoid Any Hitches In Receiving Your Payment.

1. Your full Name:
2. Delivery Address:
3. Your direct Tel, Cell: Nos:
4. A copy of your ID or ID numbers for Identification:
5. Your Nearest Airport:

Finally, this is very urgent and important the bank are waiting to hear from you right away today, Bear in mind that the tracking number of your parcel will be given to you immediately the Processing charge and Stamp fee is received to avoid any immediate STOP ORDER from the United Nation office.

Note That Because Of Impostors, We Hereby Issued You Our Code Of Conduct, Which Is (ATM-110) So You Have To Indicate This Code When Contacting The Card Center By Using It As Your Subject.

Below are few list of tracking numbers you can track from UPS website to confirm people like you who have received their payment successfully.

Name : Donna L. Vargas: UPS Tracking Number: 1Z757F991598420403 (www.ups.com)
Name : Rovenda Elaine Clayton: UPS Tracking Number: 1Z757F991596606592 (www.ups.com)

CONGRATULATIONS. The Bank Wait For Your Expedite Response. Please Call The Ups shipping Agent Now (347-348-0897) Mr Steven Parker.

The bank Wait For Your Expedite Response.

Yours sincerely,

Mr.Ben S. Bernanke.
Ref.: bensbernanke/frb110/pres/un/wb/imf/pt.
Chairman Federal Reserve Bank Board New York.

This is the most transparent of Nigerian garbage. I called the above phone number just to see who would answer, and I got a message (in a British accent) indicating that the party was not available. I’m certain that somehow this number is wired to forward calls to a number in Nigeria or somewhere like it. Notice the mention of a “Processing charge and Stamp fee,” the which, once paid, would open the floodgates to an endless litany of requests for additional fees, bribes, charges, stamps, and whatever the victim is willing to send to collect his nonexistent funds, until he finally gives up in disgust.

Sadly, crooks and scammers like this are largely beyond the reach of the law; US federal agencies are powerless to act against these drones, and often the governments of the countries in which the scammers operate are ineffective in dealing with or party to the scam.

To be safe,

  • Never send money via Western Union or similar service anywhere, unless you are initiating the transaction and know who will be receiving the money.
  • Never give your banking or credit card information to anyone who requests it via email.

The Old Wolf has spoken.


[1] “Independent Remedy Researcher & Official Article Columnist.” Now there are some impressive credentials, I tell you what.

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