Milkshake, Hold the Cup

Berkeley Breathed, creator of “The Academia Waltz,” “Bloom County,” and “Opus” (there, Melissa, I used an Oxford Comma, I want a gold star) has long been a favorite of mine, right up there with Doonesbury and before that, Pogo (Mogg’s teeth, I miss Walt Kelly. I can’t imagine what he would be doing with the rich fodder this recent election and current administration would have given him.)

And cartoonists sometimes repeat a gag, because reasons. But Breathed has taken this particular punchline and recycled it at least twice, with various results. The first appearance was in 1978 or so:

Bloom County - Hold the Cup (3)

The Academia Waltz

The joke was good enough to launch his next and longest-running effort:

Bloom County - Hold the Cup (2)

The very first “Bloom County.”

But there was still more outrage to be had:

Bloom County - Hold the Cup

Another Bloom County

And Jim Davis, never above using imitation as the sincerest form of flattery, even worked it into one of his Garfield strips:

Garfield - Hold the Cup

Remind me never to go to Irma’s diner. She must be related to the lady who runs the “Bank of Ethel” over at Dilbert.

Now, the last question in my mind is, “How many people have actually gone to Burger King and tried this? If I were behind the counter, I’d simply say “Hold out your hands” and see where things went from there.

On that note, I am reminded of the story about an American couple on vacation in Wales. On their journey they find themselves in Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch and decide to have a bite to eat, all the while debating the pronunciation of the town’s name.
They stop for lunch and one tourist asks the cashier, “Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us?”
The young lady behind the counter agrees.
“Would you please pronounce where we are for us – very slowly?”
The girl leans over the counter and says, “Buurrrrgerrrrr Kinnnnggg.”

The Old Wolf has spoken.

 

Microsoft, stop resetting my program defaults in Windows 10.

reset

Dear Microsoft,

  • I don’t give a rat’s south-40 whether or not an app caused a problem. Handle it with an error message, if you must. Or a recommendation.
  • I’ve been to “program defaults” and I have specified what program I want to handle given file types.
  • You have NO RIGHT to change those back just because you want me to use your own (often substandard) applications.
  • Stop doing this. I configure my computer to my own needs, not yours. This is beyond ignorant, beyond arrogant, beyond anything reasonable or normal. It is stupid and maddening. Just STOP IT.

cactus

No love,

The Old Wolf

Dear Google News, what the hqiz is this?

I’m used to seeing all sorts of spam and junk ads on the internet – not so much since I have ad blockers at work for me, but a lot of the ads on pages are served up in ways that ad blockers don’t identify them as such.

But when I go to Google News, I expect news articles and not clickbait, bayesian-filtered camel ejecta.

Here’s my news feed this morning (click the image for a larger view):

health

Look at the last five items. Obviously computer-generated text with garbage descriptions designed to thwart bayesian filtering. These are not even tagged as obvious advertisements as they should be.

Even though the “sources” show “The Boyne City Gazette” and “The Inland Empire News,” each link takes you via multiple redirects to “topcanadiandrugs24rx,” a scummy outfit probably operating out of India or Eastern Europe.

canada

Click on the “Real Time Coverage” button for the “story” and this is what you get:

realtime

Come on, Google – you can do better than that.

The Old Wolf has Spoken.