Love Came

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Love came,
and became like blood in my body.
It rushed through my veins and
encircled my heart.
Everywhere I looked,
I saw one thing.
Love’s name written
on my limbs,
on my left palm,
on my forehead,
on the back of my neck,
on my right big toe…
Oh, my friend,
all that you see of me
is just a shell,
and the rest belongs to love.

-Shahram Shiva

Published in Hush Don’t Say Anything to God: Passionate Poems of Rumi, Jain Publishing

Sketches of Life in the Uintah Basin

Alice Woolf

Alice Bartlett Woolf, 1916-1997

Alice Bartlett Woolf, a painter, writer, master teacher, horse breaker, and story teller, was also a dear friend of my mother. While working on scanning my mother’s papers, I came across an article that Alice had submitted to the Utah Humanities Review for their first edition in October of 1947. I found it delightful, and thought it worth sharing here. I have provided a PDF version of the article for anyone who wants to download it. The essay gives a homey, affectionate and impartial look at Mormon communities in the first half of the 20th century; there is much to be envied in the lifestyle of these simple and sincere people.


SKETCHES OF LIFE IN THE UINTAH BASIN

Woolf, Alice B.
Utah Humanities Review
1 (October1947): 313–319.

 Expecting the mode of life and the people to be much changed, I was going “home” for a vacation in the red sand hills of northeastern Utah. As I turned my car north from U.S. highway 40, I was delighted to see again the small farms on either side of a very muddy and rutted road. Of course, I reasoned, the very structure of the farms, with outbuildings, Jackson-fork hay derricks, stackyards, and straw-covered. sheds couldn’t have all disappeared in the space of fifteen years. But what of the people? Had the innovation of elec­tric lights, radios and refrigerators changed their way of life? Did they still refer to a journey to Salt Lake, or some place other than the Uintah Basin as “outside”? Had the oil boom in the nearby town of Vernal urbanized them?

Woolf1

SUNDAY MORNING – Alice Woolf

 After several weeks in Uintah and Duchesne counties I concluded that life in general was much the same as it had been when I was a child of the sagebrush, happily riding my pony between prairie dog holes.

Of course, one may wonder why anyone should hope that small communities of people would not change; and after some thought, I decided that the people in the farm area to the south of the Uintah Mountains are, by and large, the happiest group I have ever known. I had been worried lest the “finer things” of civilization had made them unhappy with their lot, for to the casual observer the small farmer in the Uintah Basin has so many natural odds against him that it seems incredible that the country has ever been popu­lated. He has a constant battle with wind, sand, drouth, and grasshoppers. Getting water to the land has been a major problem since the land was homesteaded, and even today everyone donates time to the building of canals and ditches, in an effort to fight the desert dryness.

Main Street

MAIN STREET – Alice Woolf

 The main factor in this happiness the people enjoy, it seems to me, is the complete social integration of all members of the community. From birth, children go through the same experiences as their elders. They work or: the farms, go to church, visit the stores, listen to conversations, attend dances and all public social functions. Most of their parents did the same. Thus the group becomes tightly knit. Everyone in our own particular community (the nucleus of each community being the church, school, store, and post office) knows whether you were quiet or fiendish in church, how well you did your lessons in school, when you had your first date, how much a dozen you are getting for your eggs now that you are grown and farming for yourself.

One finds the people themselves tolerant and understanding with members of their own community, or of com­munities they would consider neighboring. They discuss the faults and failings of friends, as well as their good qualities, with joyous abandon. However, this ready acceptance extends only to the group. A stranger entering their midst – let’s say someone from “outside, ” perhaps Colorado or Wyoming – would receive a very reserved welcome from everyone, and it would take considerable good-will on the stranger’s part to draw any attention but the rather austere courtesy that is far from impolite, but leaves the atmosphere a little frigid.

Farm methods have improved somewhat in the last few years. There are more tractors and less broken-down teams. Nearly everyone has a car, and there are actually people in the farming district who are getting running water.

In dress the people are utilitarian rather than stylish. The men wear overalls and work shirts, and the women effect the typical “Utah” house dress and apron.

Country Store

COUNTRY STORE – Alice Woolf

 In the series of sketches, I chose several pictures which depict the life of the people. The one entitled “Main Street” is actually a typical thoroughfare in rural life. The barbed wire fence in the background encloses a pasture that lies between the store and the school house. l would like to call attention again to the children, who, even though small, are becoming used to grown-up talk, and the exigencies of grown­up life.

I have chosen two other sketches dealing with social pleasure. One is the interior of a typical rural store, where the people come partly to buy and partly to visit. There is nearly always a family or two in the store, the men, of course, discussing weather and crops, and the women doing exactly what visiting women have always done talking a mile a minute. The second sketch concerns a dance. This one happens to be at a Gold-and-Green Ball, but is a scene that might be sketched at any country’ dance. Unlike dances in the city, this one is not selective; everyone comes. Many come as “lookers-on.” They simply choose a scat and tend children and visit. The young women, both married and unmarried, come in delightful confections of pink and blue tulle, as “formal” as can be. Older children slick up in their Sunday best and dance or not as they feel inclined. The charm of the whole occasion is that everyone has a good time, the dancers dancing, the onlookers speculating about any new romances, and the children just being children. At midnight the three or four-piece orchestra plays “Home Sweet Home, ” and the hall is vacated, except for a few older boys who stay to put the chairs up for church next morning.

Gold and Green Ball

GOLD AND GREEN BALL – Alice Woolf

 When someone in the community dies, friends of the family build the coffin. This is looked on not so much as a distasteful task as a last kindly gesture toward the de­ceased, and even though neighboring towns have undertak­ing parlors, it is rare indeed that the dead are not cared for by their own friends.

Making coffins

MAKING COFFINS  – Alice Woolf

Sunday morning finds nearly everyone at church. If chores or housework keep people until past the starting time, they come late, expecting everyone to understand. Here again we see ail ages amalgamated together in the large general assembly. No one minds the general hubbub caused by the small children, least of all the people conducting the church service, who are very likely tending children of their own. Somehow everyone comes away from the church up­lifted spiritually, although an outsider might find the whole atmosphere confusing.

Last but not least is the sketch called “Saturday Night.” Never, in my return visit, did I fail to feel nostalgic as I walked into a warm kitchen and saw the tub on the floor and warm towels on the down-turned open door. If there is one thing above others that seems to cement family solidarity, it is the Saturday night bath. By the time everyone has par­ticipated in chopping wood and carrying water in prepara­tion, and has emerged clean and shining from a tin tub, all seems right with the world.

Saturday Night

SATURDAY NIGHT – Alice Woolf

 After spending several months in such an area, it is a little difficult to return even to the modestly urban life of Salt Lake City, as it is always hard to leave a peaceful life among happy people for a life that is more hectic and far less happy. Struggling with wood-chopping, water-carrying, and a cow-to-you milk supply is incidental when one has a joyful life. If one makes the slightest attempt to live within the group mores and customs his life can be an open book – ­read and accepted by all, good and bad alike; and he can of course help in accepting his acquaintances, good and bad alike. With such community solidarity, as long as one stays in the community, security and contentment are forever present.


Two prints of artwork by Alice WoolfAlice Woolfe Print 1 Alice Woolfe Print 2Alice and my mother were born in the same year; Alice passed five years before mother did, but they were lifelong friends, and I recall hearing many stories about her as I was growing up. I’m pleased to share this bit of Utah history which, thanks to Alice’s insights, has been preserved.

The Old Wolf has spoken.

A List of Books

Recently found this list over at alistofbooks.com: 13 “Top 100 Books” lists combined and condensed into one master list, for the benefit of your reading pleasure. 623 books in all.

These books were ordered by some sort of point ranking, I’m not sure what system the original poster uses to determine popularity, but I’m just presenting the list in the order I found it. This says nothing about my own literary preferences.

I thought some readers might appreciate seeing the bare-bones list without all of the extraneous stars and blurbs and points and reviews, so here it is:

#1 The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald
#2 The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck
#3 Nineteen Eighty-Four by George Orwell
#4 Ulysses by James Joyce
#5 Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov
#6 Catch-22 by Joseph Heller
#7 The Catcher in the Rye by J. D. Salinger
#8 Beloved by Toni Morrison
#9 The Sound and the Fury by William Faulkner
#10 To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
#11 The Lord of the Rings by J. R. R. Tolkien
#12 One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel García Márquez
#13 Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
#14 To the Lighthouse by Virginia Woolf
#15 Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison
#16 Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell
#17 Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë
#18 On the Road by Jack Kerouac
#19 Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
#20 Lord of the Flies by William Golding
#21 Middlemarch by George Eliot
#22 Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy
#23 Animal Farm by George Orwell
#24 A Passage to India by E. M. Forster
#25 In Search of Lost Time by Marcel Proust
#26 Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë
#27 The Chronicles of Narnia by C. S. Lewis
#28 The Color Purple by Alice Walker
#29 Midnight’s Children by Salman Rushdie
#30 A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man by James Joyce
#31 Winnie-the-Pooh by A. A. Milne
#32 Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad
#33 Mrs Dalloway by Virginia Woolf
#34 Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut
#35 War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy
#36 Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck
#37 Moby-Dick by Herman Melville
#38 Little Women by Louisa May Alcott
#39 Native Son by Richard Wright
#40 The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams
#41 Great Expectations by Charles Dickens
#42 The Sun Also Rises by Ernest Hemingway
#43 Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier
#44 The Stranger by Albert Camus
#45 Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass by Lewis Carroll
#46 For Whom the Bell Tolls by Ernest Hemingway
#47 The Hobbit by J. R. R. Tolkien
#48 Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert
#49 The Wind in the Willows by Kenneth Grahame
#50 The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood
#51 Tess of the D’Urbervilles by Thomas Hardy
#52 Their Eyes Were Watching God by Zora Neale Hurston
#53 A Prayer for Owen Meany by John Irving
#54 Emma by Jane Austen
#55 David Copperfield by Charles Dickens
#56 The Portrait of a Lady by Henry James
#57 The Trial by Franz Kafka
#58 Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoyevsky
#59 A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess
#60 The Age of Innocence by Edith Wharton
#61 Don Quixote by Miguel de Cervantes
#62 As I Lay Dying by William Faulkner
#63 His Dark Materials by Philip Pullman
#64 Brideshead Revisited by Evelyn Waugh
#65 The Golden Notebook by Doris Lessing
#66 Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain
#67 Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe
#68 Tom Jones by Henry Fielding
#69 Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone by J. K. Rowling
#70 Song of Solomon by Toni Morrison
#71 Molloy; Malone Dies; The Unnamable by Samuel Beckett
#72 Finnegans Wake by James Joyce
#73 Absalom, Absalom! by William Faulkner
#74 The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy, Gentleman by Laurence Sterne
#76 The Ambassadors by Henry James
#77 Sons and Lovers by D. H. Lawrence
#78 A Farewell to Arms by Ernest Hemingway
#79 Women in Love by D. H. Lawrence
#80 Birdsong by Sebastian Faulks
#81 Gulliver’s travels by Jonathan Swift
#82 Watership Down by Richard Adams
#83 Gravity’s Rainbow by Thomas Pynchon
#84 Frankenstein by Mary Shelley
#85 Clarissa: Or the History of a Young Lady by Samuel Richardson
#86 The Old Man and the Sea by Ernest Hemingway
#87 Dune by Frank Herbert
#88 The Life and Adventures of Robinson Crusoe by Daniel Defoe
#89 Go Tell It on the Mountain by James Baldwin
#90 All the King’s Men by Robert Penn Warren
#91 The Magic Mountain by Thomas Mann
#92 The Call of the Wild by Jack London
#93 The Tin Drum by Günter Grass
#94 The 42nd Parallel by John Dos Passos
#95 Under the Volcano by Malcolm Lowry
#96 Disgrace by J. M. Coetzee
#97 The Diary of a Young Girl by Anne Frank
#98 Bleak House by Charles Dickens
#99 Light in August by William Faulkner
#100 The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne
#101 Pale Fire by Vladimir Nabokov
#102 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin by Louis de Bernières
#103 Howards End by E. M. Forster
#104 The Heart is A Lonely Hunter by Carson McCullers
#105 Vanity Fair by William Makepeace Thackeray
#106 Commedia by Dante Alighieri
#107 The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas
#108 An American Tragedy by Theodore Dreiser
#109 White Noise by Don DeLillo
#110 The World According to Garp by John Irving
#111 Atonement by Ian McEwan
#112 Nostromo by Joseph Conrad
#113 The House of Mirth by Edith Wharton
#114 The Brothers Karamazov by Fyodor Dostoevsky
#115 The Good Soldier by Ford Madox Ford
#116 The Name of the Rose by Umberto Eco
#117 The Shipping News by Annie Proulx
#118 The Woman in White by Wilkie Collins
#119 Herzog by Saul Bellow
#120 The Counterfeiters by Andre Gide
#121 My Ántonia by Willa Cather
#122 Scoop by Evelyn Waugh
#123 A Room with a View by E. M. Forster
#124 Bible: King James Version by KJV
#125 Wide Sargasso Sea by Jean Rhys
#126 Love in The Time of Cholera by Gabriel García Márquez
#127 The Remains of the day by Kazuo Ishiguro
#128 The Big Sleep by Raymond Chandler
#129 I, Claudius by Robert Graves
#130 Tropic of Cancer by Henry Miller
#131 Tender is the Night by F. Scott Fitzgerald
#132 Journey to the End of the Night by Louis-Ferdinand Céline
#133 The War of the Worlds by H. G. Wells
#134 A Suitable Boy by Vikram Seth
#135 Possession by A.S. Byatt
#136 A Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole
#137 The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath
#138 Waiting for Godot by Samuel Beckett
#139 The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot Diaz
#140 Being and Nothingness by Jean-Paul Sartre
#141 A Thousand Acres by Jane Smiley
#142 The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay by Michael Chabon
#143 The Gulag Archipelago, 1918-1956: An Experiment in Literary Investigation by Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn
#144 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory by Roald Dahl
#145 Lady Chatterley’s Lover by D. H. Lawrence
#146 JR by William Gaddis
#147 The Histories by Herodotus
#148 Doctor Zhivago by Boris Pasternak
#149 Lucky Jim by Kingsley Amis
#150 Underworld by Don DeLillo
#151 If on a Winter’s Night a Traveler by Italo Calvino
#152 Life by Georges Perec
#153 The Master and Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov
#154 The Good Earth by Pearl S. Buck
#155 Henderson the Rain King by Saul Bellow
#156 Ironweed by William J. Kennedy
#157 Persuasion by Jane Austen
#158 The Rainbow by D. H. Lawrence
#159 A Dance to the Music of Time by Anthony Powell
#160 The Unbearable Lightness of Being by Milan Kundera
#161 Kim by Rudyard Kipling
#162 Brighton Rock by Graham Greene
#163 One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest by Ken Kesey
#164 The Adventures of Augie March by Saul Bellow
#165 A Bend in the River by V. S. Naipaul
#166 The Hound of the Baskervilles by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
#167 Housekeeping by Marilynne Robinson
#168 Sophie’s Choice by William Styron
#169 Ethan Frome by Edith Wharton
#170 Buddenbrooks by Thomas Mann
#171 Thérèse Desqueyroux by François Mauriac
#172 The Killer Angels by Michael Shaara
#173 Anne of Green Gables by L. M. Montgomery
#174 If This Is a Man and The Truce by Primo Levi
#175 The bridge of San Luis Rey by Thornton Wilder
#176 A Moveable Feast by Ernest Hemingway
#177 Dubliners by James Joyce
#178 Ficciones by Jorge Luis Borges
#179 Schindler’s List by Thomas Keneally
#180 The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie by Muriel Spark
#181 Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson
#182 Far from the Madding Crowd by Thomas Hardy
#183 Gilead by Marilynne Robinson
#184 Nausea by Jean-Paul Sartre
#185 The Wings of the Dove by Henry James
#186 The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
#187 The Red Badge of Courage by Stephen Crane
#188 The Odyssey by Homer
#189 Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden
#190 Men Without Women by Ernest Hemingway
#191 The Tale of Genji by Murasaki Shikibu
#192 Cannery Row by John Steinbeck
#193 Life of Pi by Yann Martel
#194 In Our Time by Ernest Hemingway
#195 The Pilgrim’s Progress by John Bunyan
#196 Jude the Obscure by Thomas Hardy
#197 Breakfast of Champions by Kurt Vonnegut
#198 Six Characters in Search of an Author by Luigi Pirandello
#199 The Day of the Locust by Nathanael West
#200 The Stand by Stephen King
#201 Austerlitz by W.G. Sebald
#202 Cat’s Cradle by Kurt Vonnegut
#203 The Public Burning by Robert Coover
#204 Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire by J. K. Rowling
#205 The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle by Haruki Murakami
#206 Man’s Fate by Andre Malraux
#207 Jazz by Toni Morrison
#208 Dead Souls by Nikolai Gogol
#209 Rabbit, Run by John Updike
#210 The Complete Stories by Flannery O’Connor
#211 The Making of Americans by Gertrude Stein
#212 Crash by J. G. Ballard
#213 The Glass Bead Game by Hermann Hesse
#214 Darkness at Noon by Arthur Koestler
#215 The Plague by Albert Camus
#216 The Soft Machine by William S. Burroughs
#217 Les Liaisons Dangereuses by Pierre Choderlos de Laclos
#218 The Wanderer by Alain-Fournier
#219 Winesburg, Ohio by Sherwood Anderson
#220 Froth on the Daydream by Boris Vian
#221 Trainspotting by Irvine Welsh
#222 The Moviegoer by Walker Percy
#223 The Canterbury Tales by Geoffrey Chaucer
#224 Main Street by Sinclair Lewis
#225 Take It or Leave It by Raymond Federman
#226 Wild Swans: Three Daughters of China by Jung Chang
#227 Nightmare Abbey by Thomas Love Peacock
#228 My Name is Red by Orhan Pamuk
#229 The Second Sex by Simone de Beauvoir
#230 The Awakening by Kate Chopin
#231 From Here to Eternity by James Jones
#232 The Black Sheep by Honoré de Balzac
#233 The Man Without Qualities by Robert Musil
#234 The Way of All Flesh by Samuel Butler
#235 The Wapshot Chronicle by John Cheever
#236 Going native by Stephen Wright
#237 The Charterhouse of Parma by Stendhal
#238 The Lost Honor of Katharina Blum by Heinrich Böll
#239 The Complete Works of William Shakespeare by William Shakespeare
#240 The Cairo Trilogy: Palace Walk, Palace of Desire, Sugar Street by Naguib Mahfouz
#241 Stranger in a Strange Land by Robert A. Heinlein
#242 In Cold Blood by Truman Capote
#243 The Code of the Woosters by P. G. Wodehouse
#244 The Red and the Black by Stendhal
#245 Sybil by Benjamin Disraeli
#246 In the Heart of the Heart of the Country & Other Stories by William H. Gass
#247 Paroles by Jacques Prévert
#248 The Maltese Falcon by Dashiell Hammett
#249 Alcools by Guillaume Apollinaire
#250 Wise Blood by Flannery O’Connor
#251 The Magus by John Fowles
#252 The Wonderful Adventures of Nils by Selma Lagerlöf
#253 The Blue Lotus by Hergé
#254 The Naked and the Dead by Norman Mailer
#255 Orlando: A Biography by Virginia Woolf
#256 Hunger by Knut Hamsun
#257 The Time Traveler’s Wife by Audrey Niffenegger
#258 A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens
#259 A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L’Engle
#260 Les Misérables by Victor Hugo
#261 Tristes Tropiques by Claude Lévi-Strauss
#262 Dream of the Red Chamber by Tsao Hsueh-Chin
#263 Slouching Towards Bethlehem by Joan Didion
#264 Old Goriot by Honoré de Balzac
#265 Oscar and Lucinda by Peter Carey
#266 The Interrogation by J. M. G. Le Clezio
#267 Appointment in Samarra by John O’Hara
#268 A House for Mr.Biswas by V. S. Naipaul
#269 Perfume: The Story of a Murderer by Patrick Suskind
#270 Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets by J. K. Rowling
#271 The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett
#272 Asterix the Gaul by René Goscinny
#273 The Wasp Factory by Iain Banks
#274 The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand
#275 Four Plays by Eugene Ionesco
#276 Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban by J. K. Rowling
#277 Germinal by Émile Zola
#278 The Moonstone by Wilkie Collins
#279 Paddy Clarke Ha Ha Ha by Roddy Doyle
#280 Sixty Stories by Donald Barthelme
#281 Three Essays on the Theory of Sexuality by Sigmund Freud
#282 Waiting for the Barbarians by J. M. Coetzee
#283 Angela’s Ashes by Frank McCourt
#284 The Abyss by Marguerite Yourcenar
#285 The Way We Live Now by Anthony Trollope
#286 The Rifles by William Vollmann
#287 Democracy in America; and Two essays on America by Alexis de Tocqueville
#288 Cranford by Elizabeth Gaskell
#289 A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens
#290 Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury
#291 The Recognitions by William Gaddis
#292 On the Origin of Species by Charles Darwin
#293 Sula by Toni Morrison
#294 Daniel Deronda by George Eliot
#295 The Tartar Steppe by Dino Buzzati
#296 Young Lonigan by James T. Farrell
#297 On the Social Contract by Jean-Jacques Rousseau
#298 Sea of Poppies by Amitav Ghosh
#299 Portnoy’s Complaint by Philip Roth
#300 Shadow of the Torturer by Gene Wolfe
#301 Das Kapital by Karl Marx
#302 Cider with Rosie by Laurie Lee
#303 The Prince by Niccolò Machiavelli
#304 The Horseman on the Roof by Jean Giono
#305 The Executioner’s Song by Norman Mailer
#306 Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand
#307 Suite Française by Irene Nemirovsky
#308 Mountains Beyond Mountains by Tracy Kidder
#309 Cold Comfort Farm by Stella Gibbons
#310 The Story of Tracy Beaker by Jacqueline Wilson
#311 Angle of Repose by Wallace Stegner
#312 Confessions by Saint Augustine
#313 The Golden Bowl by Henry James
#314 Belle Du Seigneur by Albert Cohen
#315 A Town Like Alice by Nevil Shute
#316 Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch by Neil Gaiman
#317 Three Men in a Boat by Jerome K. Jerome
#318 Leviathan by Thomas Hobbes
#319 The Ragged Trousered Philanthropists by Robert Tressell
#320 Bastard Out of Carolina by Dorothy Allison
#321 Hamlet by William Shakespeare
#322 Sister Carrie by Theodore Dreiser
#323 Death Comes for the Archbishop by Willa Cather
#324 The Sea, the Sea by Iris Murdoch
#325 The French Lieutenant’s Woman by John Fowles
#326 The Pillars of The Earth by Ken Follett
#327 Dhalgren by Samuel R. Delany
#328 Swallows and Amazons by Arthur Ransome
#329 History of the Peloponnesian War by Thucydides
#330 The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde
#331 A handful of dust by Evelyn Waugh
#332 The Diary of a Nobody by George Grossmith
#333 The Stain by Rikki Ducornet
#334 Snow Country by Yasunari Kawabata
#335 The Bone People by Keri Hulme
#336 The God of Small Things by Arundhati Roy
#337 Zazie dans le Métro by Raymond Queneau
#338 Lord Jim by Joseph Conrad
#339 Neuromancer by William Gibson
#340 Treasure Island by Robert Louis Stevenson
#341 Ragtime by E. L. Doctorow
#342 The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini
#343 Confusion: The Private Papers of Privy Councillor R. von D. by Stefan Zweig
#344 A Wizard of Earthsea by Ursula K. Le Guin
#345 The Warden by Anthony Trollope
#346 The Riddle of the Sands by Erskine Childers
#347 Gormenghast by Mervyn Peake
#348 The Secret History by Donna Tartt
#349 Lookout cartridge by Joseph McElroy
#350 The Shell Seekers by Rosamunde Pilcher
#351 The BFG by Roald Dahl
#352 One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich by Alexander Solzhenitsyn
#353 The Heart of the Matter by Graham Greene
#354 Call it Sleep by Henry Roth
#355 Bonjour Tristesse by Françoise Sagan
#356 Sophie’s World by Jostein Gaarder
#357 The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown
#358 The Sot-Weed Factor by John Barth
#359 Le Silence de La Mer by Vercors
#360 Bridget Jones’s Diary by Helen Fielding
#361 Deliverance by James Dickey
#362 Genoa by Paul Metcalf
#363 Snow Falling on Cedars by David Guterson
#364 Fathers and Sons by Ivan Turgenev
#365 A Wild Sheep Chase by Haruki Murakami
#366 Point Counter Point by Aldous Huxley
#367 Babbitt by Sinclair Lewis
#368 The Souls of Black Folk by W. E. B. Du Bois
#369 The Thirty-Nine Steps by John Buchan
#370 The Jungle by Upton Sinclair
#371 Under Satan’s Sun by Georges Bernanos
#372 The Voyeur by Alain Robbe-Grillet
#373 The Secret Agent by Joseph Conrad
#374 All Quiet on the Western Front by Erich Maria Remarque
#375 Double or Nothing by Raymond Federman
#376 The Bonfire of the Vanities by Tom Wolfe
#377 The Phantom Tollbooth by Norton Juster
#378 Amers/Oiseaux/Poesie by Saint-John Perse
#379 The House of the Spirits by Isabel Allende
#380 Paradise Lost by John Milton
#381 The Joke by Milan Kundera
#382 The Wonderful Wizard of Oz by L. Frank Baum
#383 At Swim-Two-Birds by Flann O’Brien
#384 Contempt by Alberto Moravia
#385 Dealing with Dragons by Patricia C. Wrede
#386 Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy
#387 The Home and the World by Rabindranath Tagore
#388 2001: A Space Odyssey by Arthur C. Clarke
#389 American Pastoral by Philip Roth
#390 The Cannibal by John Hawkes
#391 Matilda by Roald Dahl
#392 The Thornbirds by Colleen McCullough
#393 The Murder of Roger Ackroyd by Agatha Christie
#394 Good Night, Mr. Tom by Michelle Magorian
#395 Nadja by André Breton
#396 King Lear by William Shakespeare
#397 The Magnificent Ambersons by Booth Tarkington
#398 Othello by William Shakespeare
#399 Aurélien by Louis Aragon
#400 Hard-Boiled Wonderland and the End of the World by Haruki Murakami
#401 The Color of Water by James McBride
#402 Soulier De Satin by Paul Claudel
#403 Leaves of Grass by Walt Whitman
#404 The Sonnets by William Shakespeare
#405 American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis
#406 The Bean Trees by Barbara Kingsolver
#407 Nightwood by Djuna Barnes
#408 Raise High the Roof Beam, Carpenters and Seymour: An Introduction by J. D. Salinger
#409 High Fidelity by Nick Hornby
#410 Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas by Hunter S. Thompson
#411 Kane and Abel by Jeffrey Archer
#412 Franny and Zooey by J. D. Salinger
#413 The Resistible Rise of Arturo Ui by Bertolt Brecht
#414 Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen
#415 The Faraway Tree Stories by Enid Blyton
#416 Petersburg by Andrei Bely
#417 City of Glass by Paul Auster
#418 Watchmen by Alan Moore
#419 The Satanic Verses by Salman Rushdie
#420 Libra by Don DeLillo
#421 Friday, or, The Other Island by Michel Tournier
#422 The Shadow of the Wind by Carlos Ruiz Zafón
#423 Parade’s End by Ford Madox Ford
#424 The Pursuit of Love by Nancy Mitford
#425 Always Coming Home by Ursula K. Le Guin
#426 The Princesse de Cleves by Madame de La Fayette
#427 Naked Lunch by William S. Burroughs
#428 Black Beauty by Anna Sewell
#429 The Savage Detectives by Roberto Bolaño
#430 London Fields by Martin Amis
#431 Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace
#432 Artemis Fowl by Eoin Colfer
#433 Les Vrilles de La Vigne by Colette
#434 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon
#435 Zuleika Dobson by Max Beerbohm
#436 Testament of Youth by Vera Brittain
#437 Capital of Pain by Paul Eluard
#438 A Tree Grows in Brooklyn by Betty Smith
#439 Half of a Yellow Sun by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
#440 A Good Man is Hard to Find and Other Stories by Flannery O’Connor
#441 Martin Eden by Jack London
#442 Red Harvest by Dashiell Hammett
#443 Noughts & Crosses by Malorie Blackman
#444 The Leopard by Giuseppe Di Lampedusa
#445 The Alexandria Quartet by Lawrence Durrell
#446 The Ballad of the Salt Sea by Hugo Pratt
#447 What We Talk About When We Talk About Love by Raymond Carver
#448 Haroun and the Sea of Stories by Salman Rushdie
#449 Writing Degree Zero by Roland Barthes
#450 Cane by Jean Toomer
#451 The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold
#452 Tales of the City by Armistead Maupin
#453 The Joy Luck Club by Amy Tan
#454 Mort by Terry Pratchett
#455 The Opposing Shore by Julien Gracq
#456 The Order of Things: An Archaeology of the Human Sciences by Michel Foucault
#457 Riddley Walker by Russell Hoban
#458 Of Human Bondage by W. Somerset Maugham
#459 Go in beauty by William Eastlake
#460 A Separate Peace by John Knowles
#461 The Quiet American by Graham Greene
#462 Dracula by Bram Stoker
#463 The Franchiser by Stanley Elkin
#464 Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance by Robert M. Pirsig
#465 Enormous Changes at the Last Minute by Grace Paley
#466 Guards! Guards! by Terry Pratchett
#467 Ellen Foster by Kaye Gibbons
#468 A Room of One’s Own by Virginia Woolf
#469 Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy by John le Carré
#470 Berlin Alexanderplatz by Alfred Döblin
#471 Cold Sassy Tree by Olive Ann Burns
#472 Look Homeward, Angel by Thomas Wolfe
#473 The Martian Chronicles by Ray Bradbury
#474 Skinny Legs and All by Tom Robbins
#475 Oliver Twist by Charles Dickens
#476 It by Stephen King
#477 A High Wind in Jamaica by Richard Hughes
#478 Cities of Salt by Abdelrahman Munif
#479 You Shall Know Our Velocity by Dave Eggers
#480 Le Ravissement de Lol V. Stein by Marguerite Duras
#481 The Death of Artemio Cruz by Carlos Fuentes
#482 The Power and the Glory by Graham Greene
#483 War and Remembrance by Herman Wouk
#484 Baudolino by Umberto Eco
#485 Dinner at the Homesick Restaurant by Anne Tyler
#486 The age of wire and string by Ben Marcus
#487 The Sorrows of Young Werther by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
#488 Where the Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak
#489 Night Watch by Terry Pratchett
#490 Tropismes by Nathalie Sarraute
#491 Tlooth by Harry Mathews
#492 The Godfather by Mario Puzo
#493 Been Down So Long It Looks Like Up to Me by Richard Fariña
#494 Pricksongs & descants by Robert Coover
#495 Waiting for the Mahatma by R. K. Narayan
#496 The Journal of Jules Renard by Jules Renard
#497 Notes from a small island by Bill Bryson
#498 Centennial by James A. Michener
#499 the man in the high castle by Philip K. Dick
#500 The Last Chronicle of Barset by Anthony Trollope
#501 Night by Elie Wiesel
#502 The Pickwick Papers by Charles Dickens
#503 Écrits by Jacques Lacan
#504 Silent Spring by Rachel Carson
#505 Jayber Crow by Wendell Berry
#506 Mrs Palfrey at the Claremont by Elizabeth Taylor
#507 The road from Coorain by Jill Ker Conway
#508 The Theater and Its Double by Antonin Artaud
#509 The Three Musketeers by Alexandre Dumas
#510 The Autobiography of Alice B. Toklas by Gertrude Stein
#511 Little, Big by John Crowley
#512 Manhattan Transfer by John Dos Passos
#513 A Brief History of Time by Stephen Hawking
#514 Candide by Voltaire
#515 The Sheltering Sky by Paul Bowles
#516 Popol Vuh by Anonymous
#517 Time and Again by Jack Finney
#518 Moravagine by Blaise Cendrars
#519 The Left Hand of Darkness by Ursula K. Le Guin
#520 Double Act by Jacqueline Wilson
#521 James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl
#522 The Bottle Factory Outing by Beryl Bainbridge
#523 Cloud Atlas by David Mitchell
#524 The Tunnel by William H. Gass
#525 The Merry Adventures of Robin Hood by Howard Pyle
#526 The Twits by Roald Dahl
#527 The General of the Dead Army by Ismail Kadare
#528 Omensetter’s Luck by William H. Gass
#529 The Razor’s Edge by W. Somerset Maugham
#530 I Capture the Castle by Dodie Smith
#531 Oblomov by Ivan Goncharov
#532 O Pioneers! by Willa Cather
#533 Delia Smith’s Complete Cookery Course by Delia Smith
#534 Romancero Gitano by Federico García Lorca
#535 Holes by Louis Sachar
#536 Under the Net by Iris Murdoch
#537 Darconville’s Cat by Alexander Theroux
#538 Waverley by Walter Scott
#539 Maigret and the Enigmatic Letter by Georges Simenon
#540 The Death of the Heart by Elizabeth Bowen
#541 An evil cradling by Brian Keenan
#542 Our Lady of the Flowers by Jean Genet
#543 Up by Ronald Sukenick
#544 A Fine Balance by Rohinton Mistry
#545 The Interpretation of Dreams by Sigmund Freud
#546 Down and out in Paris and London by George Orwell
#547 Yellow Back Radio Broke-Down by Ishmael Reed
#548 Lanark by Alasdair Gray
#549 Vicky Angel by Jacqueline Wilson
#550 Nine Stories by J. D. Salinger
#551 Fureur Et Mystere by René Char
#552 The Bostonians by Henry James
#553 The Old Wives’ Tale by Arnold Bennett
#554 Drown by Junot Diaz
#555 The Education of Henry Adams by Henry Adams
#556 The Betrothed by Alessandro Manzoni
#557 The Last of the Mohicans by James Fenimore Cooper
#558 The Five People You Meet in Heaven by Mitch Albom
#559 Quotations from Chairman Mao Tse-Tung by Mao Tse-Tung
#560 Eugene Onegin by Alexander Pushkin
#561 You Bright & Risen Angels by William Vollmann
#562 The Alienist by Caleb Carr
#563 Uncle Tom’s Cabin by Harriet Beecher Stowe
#564 The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
#565 The Periodic Table by Primo Levi
#566 Magician by Raymond E. Feist
#567 Talk Before Sleep by Elizabeth Berg
#568 Loving by Henry Green
#569 No Orchids for Miss Blandish by James Hadley Chase
#570 The Varieties of Religious Experience by William James
#571 The Secret of the Swordfish by Edgar P. Jacobs
#572 Money by Martin Amis
#573 The Universal Baseball Association, inc. by Robert Coover
#574 Creamy and Delicious by Steve Katz
#575 Tobacco Road by Erskine Caldwell
#576 The Notebooks of Malte Laurids Brigge by Rainer Maria Rilke
#577 The Selfish Gene by Richard Dawkins
#578 The Blue Sword by Robin McKinley
#579 An Artist of the Floating World by Kazuo Ishiguro
#580 This Side of Paradise by F. Scott Fitzgerald
#581 Rubyfruit Jungle by Rita Mae Brown
#582 Jurassic Park by Michael Crichton
#583 La Modification by Michel Butor
#584 The General Theory of Employment, Interest and Money by John Maynard Keynes
#585 The Clan of the Cave Bear by Jean M. Auel
#586 The Colour of Magic by Terry Pratchett
#587 More Than Human by Theodore Sturgeon
#588 The Origins of Totalitarianism by Hannah Arendt
#589 The Book of Laughter and Forgetting by Milan Kundera
#590 The Prince of Tides by Pat Conroy
#591 The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho
#592 Goodbye to All That by Robert Graves
#593 Cry, the Beloved Country by Alan Paton
#594 Mulligan Stew by Gilbert Sorrentino
#595 L. A. Confidential by James Ellroy
#596 The Affluent Society by John Kenneth Galbraith
#597 The Rosy Crucifixion by Henry Miller
#598 Katherine by Anya Seton
#599 A Little Princess by Frances Hodgson Burnett
#600 The Beautiful and Damned by F. Scott Fitzgerald
#601 Wise Children by Angela Carter
#602 The Arabian Nights: Tales from a Thousand and One Nights by Richard Burton
#603 A People’s History of the United States by Howard Zinn
#604 The Van by Roddy Doyle
#605 The Good Soldier Svejk by Jaroslav Hasek
#606 The Autobiography of Malcolm X by Malcolm X
#607 Easy Travel to Other Planets by Ted Mooney
#608 The Postman Always Rings Twice by James M. Cain
#609 Where Angels Fear to Tread by E. M. Forster
#610 Sometimes a Great Notion by Ken Kesey
#611 Gaston, tome 1 by André Franquin
#612 Tours of the Black Clock by Steve Erickson
#613 Girls in Love by Jacqueline Wilson
#614 Earthly Powers by Anthony Burgess
#615 Eminent Victorians by Lytton Strachey
#616 The Ginger Man by J. P. Donleavy
#617 Hawaii by James A. Michener
#618 In Memoriam to Identity by Kathy Acker
#619 The Princess Diaries by Meg Cabot
#620 The Second World War by Winston S. Churchill
#621 The Education of Little Tree by Forrest Carter
#622 The Horse Whisperer by Nicholas Evans
#623 Hogg by Samuel R. Delany

And, for your gratuitous enjoyment, the same list sorted by author (first name):

#31 Winnie-the-Pooh by A. A. Milne
#135 Possession by A.S. Byatt
#478 Cities of Salt by Abdelrahman Munif
#393 The Murder of Roger Ackroyd by Agatha Christie
#372 The Voyeur by Alain Robbe-Grillet
#218 The Wanderer by Alain-Fournier
#418 Watchmen by Alan Moore
#593 Cry, the Beloved Country by Alan Paton
#548 Lanark by Alasdair Gray
#44 The Stranger by Albert Camus
#215 The Plague by Albert Camus
#314 Belle Du Seigneur by Albert Cohen
#384 Contempt by Alberto Moravia
#13 Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
#366 Point Counter Point by Aldous Huxley
#143 The Gulag Archipelago, 1918-1956: An Experiment in Literary Investigation by Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn
#556 The Betrothed by Alessandro Manzoni
#560 Eugene Onegin by Alexander Pushkin
#352 One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich by Alexander Solzhenitsyn
#537 Darconville’s Cat by Alexander Theroux
#107 The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas
#509 The Three Musketeers by Alexandre Dumas
#287 Democracy in America; and Two essays on America by Alexis de Tocqueville
#470 Berlin Alexanderplatz by Alfred Döblin
#451 The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold
#28 The Color Purple by Alice Walker
#298 Sea of Poppies by Amitav Ghosh
#453 The Joy Luck Club by Amy Tan
#395 Nadja by André Breton
#611 Gaston, tome 1 by André Franquin
#120 The Counterfeiters by Andre Gide
#206 Man’s Fate by Andre Malraux
#416 Petersburg by Andrei Bely
#601 Wise Children by Angela Carter
#428 Black Beauty by Anna Sewell
#97 The Diary of a Young Girl by Anne Frank
#485 Dinner at the Homesick Restaurant by Anne Tyler
#117 The Shipping News by Annie Proulx
#516 Popol Vuh by Anonymous
#59 A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess
#614 Earthly Powers by Anthony Burgess
#159 A Dance to the Music of Time by Anthony Powell
#285 The Way We Live Now by Anthony Trollope
#345 The Warden by Anthony Trollope
#500 The Last Chronicle of Barset by Anthony Trollope
#186 The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
#508 The Theater and Its Double by Antonin Artaud
#598 Katherine by Anya Seton
#452 Tales of the City by Armistead Maupin
#553 The Old Wives’ Tale by Arnold Bennett
#388 2001: A Space Odyssey by Arthur C. Clarke
#189 Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden
#214 Darkness at Noon by Arthur Koestler
#328 Swallows and Amazons by Arthur Ransome
#336 The God of Small Things by Arundhati Roy
#257 The Time Traveler’s Wife by Audrey Niffenegger
#274 The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand
#306 Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand
#406 The Bean Trees by Barbara Kingsolver
#486 The age of wire and string by Ben Marcus
#245 Sybil by Benjamin Disraeli
#413 The Resistible Rise of Arturo Ui by Bertolt Brecht
#522 The Bottle Factory Outing by Beryl Bainbridge
#438 A Tree Grows in Brooklyn by Betty Smith
#497 Notes from a small island by Bill Bryson
#518 Moravagine by Blaise Cendrars
#397 The Magnificent Ambersons by Booth Tarkington
#148 Doctor Zhivago by Boris Pasternak
#220 Froth on the Daydream by Boris Vian
#462 Dracula by Bram Stoker
#405 American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis
#541 An evil cradling by Brian Keenan
#27 The Chronicles of Narnia by C. S. Lewis
#562 The Alienist by Caleb Carr
#481 The Death of Artemio Cruz by Carlos Fuentes
#422 The Shadow of the Wind by Carlos Ruiz Zafón
#104 The Heart is A Lonely Hunter by Carson McCullers
#292 On the Origin of Species by Charles Darwin
#41 Great Expectations by Charles Dickens
#55 David Copperfield by Charles Dickens
#98 Bleak House by Charles Dickens
#258 A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens
#289 A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens
#475 Oliver Twist by Charles Dickens
#502 The Pickwick Papers by Charles Dickens
#17 Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë
#439 Half of a Yellow Sun by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
#67 Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe
#261 Tristes Tropiques by Claude Lévi-Strauss
#433 Les Vrilles de La Vigne by Colette
#392 The Thornbirds by Colleen McCullough
#386 Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy
#77 Sons and Lovers by D. H. Lawrence
#79 Women in Love by D. H. Lawrence
#145 Lady Chatterley’s Lover by D. H. Lawrence
#158 The Rainbow by D. H. Lawrence
#357 The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown
#88 The Life and Adventures of Robinson Crusoe by Daniel Defoe
#106 Commedia by Dante Alighieri
#43 Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier
#248 The Maltese Falcon by Dashiell Hammett
#442 Red Harvest by Dashiell Hammett
#479 You Shall Know Our Velocity by Dave Eggers
#431 Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace
#363 Snow Falling on Cedars by David Guterson
#523 Cloud Atlas by David Mitchell
#533 Delia Smith’s Complete Cookery Course by Delia Smith
#295 The Tartar Steppe by Dino Buzzati
#407 Nightwood by Djuna Barnes
#530 I Capture the Castle by Dodie Smith
#109 White Noise by Don DeLillo
#150 Underworld by Don DeLillo
#420 Libra by Don DeLillo
#280 Sixty Stories by Donald Barthelme
#348 The Secret History by Donna Tartt
#65 The Golden Notebook by Doris Lessing
#320 Bastard Out of Carolina by Dorothy Allison
#40 The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams
#341 Ragtime by E. L. Doctorow
#24 A Passage to India by E. M. Forster
#103 Howards End by E. M. Forster
#123 A Room with a View by E. M. Forster
#609 Where Angels Fear to Tread by E. M. Forster
#571 The Secret of the Swordfish by Edgar P. Jacobs
#60 The Age of Innocence by Edith Wharton
#113 The House of Mirth by Edith Wharton
#169 Ethan Frome by Edith Wharton
#501 Night by Elie Wiesel
#567 Talk Before Sleep by Elizabeth Berg
#540 The Death of the Heart by Elizabeth Bowen
#288 Cranford by Elizabeth Gaskell
#506 Mrs Palfrey at the Claremont by Elizabeth Taylor
#277 Germinal by Émile Zola
#26 Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë
#415 The Faraway Tree Stories by Enid Blyton
#432 Artemis Fowl by Eoin Colfer
#374 All Quiet on the Western Front by Erich Maria Remarque
#42 The Sun Also Rises by Ernest Hemingway
#46 For Whom the Bell Tolls by Ernest Hemingway
#78 A Farewell to Arms by Ernest Hemingway
#86 The Old Man and the Sea by Ernest Hemingway
#176 A Moveable Feast by Ernest Hemingway
#190 Men Without Women by Ernest Hemingway
#194 In Our Time by Ernest Hemingway
#575 Tobacco Road by Erskine Caldwell
#346 The Riddle of the Sands by Erskine Childers
#275 Four Plays by Eugene Ionesco
#64 Brideshead Revisited by Evelyn Waugh
#122 Scoop by Evelyn Waugh
#331 A handful of dust by Evelyn Waugh
#1 The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald
#131 Tender is the Night by F. Scott Fitzgerald
#580 This Side of Paradise by F. Scott Fitzgerald
#600 The Beautiful and Damned by F. Scott Fitzgerald
#534 Romancero Gitano by Federico García Lorca
#383 At Swim-Two-Birds by Flann O’Brien
#210 The Complete Stories by Flannery O’Connor
#250 Wise Blood by Flannery O’Connor
#440 A Good Man is Hard to Find and Other Stories by Flannery O’Connor
#115 The Good Soldier by Ford Madox Ford
#423 Parade’s End by Ford Madox Ford
#621 The Education of Little Tree by Forrest Carter
#271 The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett
#599 A Little Princess by Frances Hodgson Burnett
#171 Thérèse Desqueyroux by François Mauriac
#355 Bonjour Tristesse by Françoise Sagan
#87 Dune by Frank Herbert
#283 Angela’s Ashes by Frank McCourt
#57 The Trial by Franz Kafka
#114 The Brothers Karamazov by Fyodor Dostoevsky
#58 Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoyevsky
#12 One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel García Márquez
#126 Love in The Time of Cholera by Gabriel García Márquez
#300 Shadow of the Torturer by Gene Wolfe
#223 The Canterbury Tales by Geoffrey Chaucer
#21 Middlemarch by George Eliot
#294 Daniel Deronda by George Eliot
#332 The Diary of a Nobody by George Grossmith
#3 Nineteen Eighty-Four by George Orwell
#23 Animal Farm by George Orwell
#546 Down and out in Paris and London by George Orwell
#371 Under Satan’s Sun by Georges Bernanos
#152 Life by Georges Perec
#539 Maigret and the Enigmatic Letter by Georges Simenon
#211 The Making of Americans by Gertrude Stein
#510 The Autobiography of Alice B. Toklas by Gertrude Stein
#594 Mulligan Stew by Gilbert Sorrentino
#444 The Leopard by Giuseppe Di Lampedusa
#465 Enormous Changes at the Last Minute by Grace Paley
#162 Brighton Rock by Graham Greene
#353 The Heart of the Matter by Graham Greene
#461 The Quiet American by Graham Greene
#482 The Power and the Glory by Graham Greene
#249 Alcools by Guillaume Apollinaire
#93 The Tin Drum by Günter Grass
#48 Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert
#133 The War of the Worlds by H. G. Wells
#588 The Origins of Totalitarianism by Hannah Arendt
#10 To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
#563 Uncle Tom’s Cabin by Harriet Beecher Stowe
#491 Tlooth by Harry Mathews
#205 The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle by Haruki Murakami
#365 A Wild Sheep Chase by Haruki Murakami
#400 Hard-Boiled Wonderland and the End of the World by Haruki Murakami
#238 The Lost Honor of Katharina Blum by Heinrich Böll
#360 Bridget Jones’s Diary by Helen Fielding
#555 The Education of Henry Adams by Henry Adams
#68 Tom Jones by Henry Fielding
#568 Loving by Henry Green
#56 The Portrait of a Lady by Henry James
#76 The Ambassadors by Henry James
#185 The Wings of the Dove by Henry James
#313 The Golden Bowl by Henry James
#552 The Bostonians by Henry James
#130 Tropic of Cancer by Henry Miller
#597 The Rosy Crucifixion by Henry Miller
#354 Call it Sleep by Henry Roth
#253 The Blue Lotus by Hergé
#37 Moby-Dick by Herman Melville
#483 War and Remembrance by Herman Wouk
#213 The Glass Bead Game by Hermann Hesse
#147 The Histories by Herodotus
#188 The Odyssey by Homer
#232 The Black Sheep by Honoré de Balzac
#264 Old Goriot by Honoré de Balzac
#525 The Merry Adventures of Robin Hood by Howard Pyle
#603 A People’s History of the United States by Howard Zinn
#446 The Ballad of the Salt Sea by Hugo Pratt
#410 Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas by Hunter S. Thompson
#273 The Wasp Factory by Iain Banks
#111 Atonement by Ian McEwan
#307 Suite Française by Irene Nemirovsky
#324 The Sea, the Sea by Iris Murdoch
#536 Under the Net by Iris Murdoch
#221 Trainspotting by Irvine Welsh
#379 The House of the Spirits by Isabel Allende
#547 Yellow Back Radio Broke-Down by Ishmael Reed
#527 The General of the Dead Army by Ismail Kadare
#151 If on a Winter’s Night a Traveler by Italo Calvino
#531 Oblomov by Ivan Goncharov
#364 Fathers and Sons by Ivan Turgenev
#7 The Catcher in the Rye by J. D. Salinger
#408 Raise High the Roof Beam, Carpenters and Seymour: An Introduction by J. D. Salinger
#412 Franny and Zooey by J. D. Salinger
#550 Nine Stories by J. D. Salinger
#212 Crash by J. G. Ballard
#69 Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone by J. K. Rowling
#204 Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire by J. K. Rowling
#270 Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets by J. K. Rowling
#276 Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban by J. K. Rowling
#96 Disgrace by J. M. Coetzee
#282 Waiting for the Barbarians by J. M. Coetzee
#266 The Interrogation by J. M. G. Le Clezio
#616 The Ginger Man by J. P. Donleavy
#11 The Lord of the Rings by J. R. R. Tolkien
#47 The Hobbit by J. R. R. Tolkien
#517 Time and Again by Jack Finney
#18 On the Road by Jack Kerouac
#92 The Call of the Wild by Jack London
#441 Martin Eden by Jack London
#310 The Story of Tracy Beaker by Jacqueline Wilson
#520 Double Act by Jacqueline Wilson
#549 Vicky Angel by Jacqueline Wilson
#613 Girls in Love by Jacqueline Wilson
#503 Écrits by Jacques Lacan
#247 Paroles by Jacques Prévert
#498 Centennial by James A. Michener
#617 Hawaii by James A. Michener
#89 Go Tell It on the Mountain by James Baldwin
#361 Deliverance by James Dickey
#595 L. A. Confidential by James Ellroy
#557 The Last of the Mohicans by James Fenimore Cooper
#569 No Orchids for Miss Blandish by James Hadley Chase
#231 From Here to Eternity by James Jones
#4 Ulysses by James Joyce
#30 A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man by James Joyce
#72 Finnegans Wake by James Joyce
#177 Dubliners by James Joyce
#608 The Postman Always Rings Twice by James M. Cain
#401 The Color of Water by James McBride
#296 Young Lonigan by James T. Farrell
#19 Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
#54 Emma by Jane Austen
#157 Persuasion by Jane Austen
#414 Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen
#141 A Thousand Acres by Jane Smiley
#605 The Good Soldier Svejk by Jaroslav Hasek
#542 Our Lady of the Flowers by Jean Genet
#304 The Horseman on the Roof by Jean Giono
#585 The Clan of the Cave Bear by Jean M. Auel
#125 Wide Sargasso Sea by Jean Rhys
#450 Cane by Jean Toomer
#297 On the Social Contract by Jean-Jacques Rousseau
#140 Being and Nothingness by Jean-Paul Sartre
#184 Nausea by Jean-Paul Sartre
#411 Kane and Abel by Jeffrey Archer
#317 Three Men in a Boat by Jerome K. Jerome
#507 The road from Coorain by Jill Ker Conway
#263 Slouching Towards Bethlehem by Joan Didion
#487 The Sorrows of Young Werther by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
#358 The Sot-Weed Factor by John Barth
#369 The Thirty-Nine Steps by John Buchan
#195 The Pilgrim’s Progress by John Bunyan
#235 The Wapshot Chronicle by John Cheever
#511 Little, Big by John Crowley
#94 The 42nd Parallel by John Dos Passos
#512 Manhattan Transfer by John Dos Passos
#251 The Magus by John Fowles
#325 The French Lieutenant’s Woman by John Fowles
#390 The Cannibal by John Hawkes
#53 A Prayer for Owen Meany by John Irving
#110 The World According to Garp by John Irving
#136 A Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole
#596 The Affluent Society by John Kenneth Galbraith
#460 A Separate Peace by John Knowles
#469 Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy by John le Carré
#584 The General Theory of Employment, Interest and Money by John Maynard Keynes
#380 Paradise Lost by John Milton
#267 Appointment in Samarra by John O’Hara
#2 The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck
#36 Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck
#192 Cannery Row by John Steinbeck
#209 Rabbit, Run by John Updike
#81 Gulliver’s travels by Jonathan Swift
#178 Ficciones by Jorge Luis Borges
#32 Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad
#112 Nostromo by Joseph Conrad
#338 Lord Jim by Joseph Conrad
#373 The Secret Agent by Joseph Conrad
#6 Catch-22 by Joseph Heller
#349 Lookout cartridge by Joseph McElroy
#356 Sophie’s World by Jostein Gaarder
#496 The Journal of Jules Renard by Jules Renard
#455 The Opposing Shore by Julien Gracq
#226 Wild Swans: Three Daughters of China by Jung Chang
#139 The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot Diaz
#554 Drown by Junot Diaz
#301 Das Kapital by Karl Marx
#230 The Awakening by Kate Chopin
#618 In Memoriam to Identity by Kathy Acker
#467 Ellen Foster by Kaye Gibbons
#127 The Remains of the day by Kazuo Ishiguro
#579 An Artist of the Floating World by Kazuo Ishiguro
#326 The Pillars of The Earth by Ken Follett
#163 One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest by Ken Kesey
#610 Sometimes a Great Notion by Ken Kesey
#49 The Wind in the Willows by Kenneth Grahame
#335 The Bone People by Keri Hulme
#342 The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini
#149 Lucky Jim by Kingsley Amis
#124 Bible: King James Version by KJV
#256 Hunger by Knut Hamsun
#34 Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut
#197 Breakfast of Champions by Kurt Vonnegut
#202 Cat’s Cradle by Kurt Vonnegut
#382 The Wonderful Wizard of Oz by L. Frank Baum
#173 Anne of Green Gables by L. M. Montgomery
#74 The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy, Gentleman by Laurence Sterne
#302 Cider with Rosie by Laurie Lee
#445 The Alexandria Quartet by Lawrence Durrell
#22 Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy
#35 War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy
#45 Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass by Lewis Carroll
#399 Aurélien by Louis Aragon
#102 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin by Louis de Bernières
#535 Holes by Louis Sachar
#38 Little Women by Louisa May Alcott
#132 Journey to the End of the Night by Louis-Ferdinand Céline
#198 Six Characters in Search of an Author by Luigi Pirandello
#615 Eminent Victorians by Lytton Strachey
#426 The Princesse de Cleves by Madame de La Fayette
#259 A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L’Engle
#95 Under the Volcano by Malcolm Lowry
#606 The Autobiography of Malcolm X by Malcolm X
#443 Noughts & Crosses by Malorie Blackman
#559 Quotations from Chairman Mao Tse-Tung by Mao Tse-Tung
#25 In Search of Lost Time by Marcel Proust
#50 The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood
#16 Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell
#480 Le Ravissement de Lol V. Stein by Marguerite Duras
#284 The Abyss by Marguerite Yourcenar
#167 Housekeeping by Marilynne Robinson
#183 Gilead by Marilynne Robinson
#492 The Godfather by Mario Puzo
#434 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon
#66 Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain
#430 London Fields by Martin Amis
#572 Money by Martin Amis
#84 Frankenstein by Mary Shelley
#488 Where the Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak
#435 Zuleika Dobson by Max Beerbohm
#619 The Princess Diaries by Meg Cabot
#347 Gormenghast by Mervyn Peake
#142 The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay by Michael Chabon
#582 Jurassic Park by Michael Crichton
#172 The Killer Angels by Michael Shaara
#583 La Modification by Michel Butor
#456 The Order of Things: An Archaeology of the Human Sciences by Michel Foucault
#421 Friday, or, The Other Island by Michel Tournier
#394 Good Night, Mr. Tom by Michelle Magorian
#61 Don Quixote by Miguel de Cervantes
#153 The Master and Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov
#160 The Unbearable Lightness of Being by Milan Kundera
#381 The Joke by Milan Kundera
#589 The Book of Laughter and Forgetting by Milan Kundera
#558 The Five People You Meet in Heaven by Mitch Albom
#191 The Tale of Genji by Murasaki Shikibu
#180 The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie by Muriel Spark
#240 The Cairo Trilogy: Palace Walk, Palace of Desire, Sugar Street by Naguib Mahfouz
#424 The Pursuit of Love by Nancy Mitford
#490 Tropismes by Nathalie Sarraute
#199 The Day of the Locust by Nathanael West
#100 The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne
#316 Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch by Neil Gaiman
#315 A Town Like Alice by Nevil Shute
#303 The Prince by Niccolò Machiavelli
#622 The Horse Whisperer by Nicholas Evans
#409 High Fidelity by Nick Hornby
#208 Dead Souls by Nikolai Gogol
#254 The Naked and the Dead by Norman Mailer
#305 The Executioner’s Song by Norman Mailer
#377 The Phantom Tollbooth by Norton Juster
#471 Cold Sassy Tree by Olive Ann Burns
#228 My Name is Red by Orhan Pamuk
#330 The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde
#243 The Code of the Woosters by P. G. Wodehouse
#590 The Prince of Tides by Pat Conroy
#385 Dealing with Dragons by Patricia C. Wrede
#269 Perfume: The Story of a Murderer by Patrick Suskind
#417 City of Glass by Paul Auster
#515 The Sheltering Sky by Paul Bowles
#402 Soulier De Satin by Paul Claudel
#437 Capital of Pain by Paul Eluard
#362 Genoa by Paul Metcalf
#591 The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho
#154 The Good Earth by Pearl S. Buck
#265 Oscar and Lucinda by Peter Carey
#499 the man in the high castle by Philip K. Dick
#63 His Dark Materials by Philip Pullman
#299 Portnoy’s Complaint by Philip Roth
#389 American Pastoral by Philip Roth
#217 Les Liaisons Dangereuses by Pierre Choderlos de Laclos
#174 If This Is a Man and The Truce by Primo Levi
#565 The Periodic Table by Primo Levi
#495 Waiting for the Mahatma by R. K. Narayan
#387 The Home and the World by Rabindranath Tagore
#504 Silent Spring by Rachel Carson
#576 The Notebooks of Malte Laurids Brigge by Rainer Maria Rilke
#15 Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison
#290 Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury
#473 The Martian Chronicles by Ray Bradbury
#447 What We Talk About When We Talk About Love by Raymond Carver
#128 The Big Sleep by Raymond Chandler
#566 Magician by Raymond E. Feist
#225 Take It or Leave It by Raymond Federman
#375 Double or Nothing by Raymond Federman
#337 Zazie dans le Métro by Raymond Queneau
#551 Fureur Et Mystere by René Char
#272 Asterix the Gaul by René Goscinny
#82 Watership Down by Richard Adams
#602 The Arabian Nights: Tales from a Thousand and One Nights by Richard Burton
#577 The Selfish Gene by Richard Dawkins
#493 Been Down So Long It Looks Like Up to Me by Richard Fariña
#477 A High Wind in Jamaica by Richard Hughes
#39 Native Son by Richard Wright
#333 The Stain by Rikki Ducornet
#581 Rubyfruit Jungle by Rita Mae Brown
#144 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory by Roald Dahl
#351 The BFG by Roald Dahl
#391 Matilda by Roald Dahl
#521 James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl
#526 The Twits by Roald Dahl
#241 Stranger in a Strange Land by Robert A. Heinlein
#203 The Public Burning by Robert Coover
#494 Pricksongs & descants by Robert Coover
#573 The Universal Baseball Association, inc. by Robert Coover
#129 I, Claudius by Robert Graves
#592 Goodbye to All That by Robert Graves
#181 Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson
#340 Treasure Island by Robert Louis Stevenson
#464 Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance by Robert M. Pirsig
#233 The Man Without Qualities by Robert Musil
#90 All the King’s Men by Robert Penn Warren
#319 The Ragged Trousered Philanthropists by Robert Tressell
#429 The Savage Detectives by Roberto Bolaño
#578 The Blue Sword by Robin McKinley
#279 Paddy Clarke Ha Ha Ha by Roddy Doyle
#604 The Van by Roddy Doyle
#544 A Fine Balance by Rohinton Mistry
#449 Writing Degree Zero by Roland Barthes
#543 Up by Ronald Sukenick
#350 The Shell Seekers by Rosamunde Pilcher
#161 Kim by Rudyard Kipling
#457 Riddley Walker by Russell Hoban
#312 Confessions by Saint Augustine
#378 Amers/Oiseaux/Poesie by Saint-John Perse
#29 Midnight’s Children by Salman Rushdie
#419 The Satanic Verses by Salman Rushdie
#448 Haroun and the Sea of Stories by Salman Rushdie
#71 Molloy; Malone Dies; The Unnamable by Samuel Beckett
#138 Waiting for Godot by Samuel Beckett
#234 The Way of All Flesh by Samuel Butler
#327 Dhalgren by Samuel R. Delany
#623 Hogg by Samuel R. Delany
#85 Clarissa: Or the History of a Young Lady by Samuel Richardson
#119 Herzog by Saul Bellow
#155 Henderson the Rain King by Saul Bellow
#164 The Adventures of Augie March by Saul Bellow
#80 Birdsong by Sebastian Faulks
#252 The Wonderful Adventures of Nils by Selma Lagerlöf
#219 Winesburg, Ohio by Sherwood Anderson
#281 Three Essays on the Theory of Sexuality by Sigmund Freud
#545 The Interpretation of Dreams by Sigmund Freud
#229 The Second Sex by Simone de Beauvoir
#224 Main Street by Sinclair Lewis
#367 Babbitt by Sinclair Lewis
#166 The Hound of the Baskervilles by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
#564 The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
#463 The Franchiser by Stanley Elkin
#343 Confusion: The Private Papers of Privy Councillor R. von D. by Stefan Zweig
#309 Cold Comfort Farm by Stella Gibbons
#237 The Charterhouse of Parma by Stendhal
#244 The Red and the Black by Stendhal
#187 The Red Badge of Courage by Stephen Crane
#513 A Brief History of Time by Stephen Hawking
#200 The Stand by Stephen King
#476 It by Stephen King
#236 Going native by Stephen Wright
#612 Tours of the Black Clock by Steve Erickson
#574 Creamy and Delicious by Steve Katz
#137 The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath
#607 Easy Travel to Other Planets by Ted Mooney
#454 Mort by Terry Pratchett
#466 Guards! Guards! by Terry Pratchett
#489 Night Watch by Terry Pratchett
#586 The Colour of Magic by Terry Pratchett
#108 An American Tragedy by Theodore Dreiser
#322 Sister Carrie by Theodore Dreiser
#587 More Than Human by Theodore Sturgeon
#51 Tess of the D’Urbervilles by Thomas Hardy
#182 Far from the Madding Crowd by Thomas Hardy
#196 Jude the Obscure by Thomas Hardy
#318 Leviathan by Thomas Hobbes
#179 Schindler’s List by Thomas Keneally
#227 Nightmare Abbey by Thomas Love Peacock
#91 The Magic Mountain by Thomas Mann
#170 Buddenbrooks by Thomas Mann
#83 Gravity’s Rainbow by Thomas Pynchon
#472 Look Homeward, Angel by Thomas Wolfe
#175 The bridge of San Luis Rey by Thornton Wilder
#329 History of the Peloponnesian War by Thucydides
#474 Skinny Legs and All by Tom Robbins
#376 The Bonfire of the Vanities by Tom Wolfe
#8 Beloved by Toni Morrison
#70 Song of Solomon by Toni Morrison
#207 Jazz by Toni Morrison
#293 Sula by Toni Morrison
#308 Mountains Beyond Mountains by Tracy Kidder
#242 In Cold Blood by Truman Capote
#262 Dream of the Red Chamber by Tsao Hsueh-Chin
#116 The Name of the Rose by Umberto Eco
#484 Baudolino by Umberto Eco
#370 The Jungle by Upton Sinclair
#344 A Wizard of Earthsea by Ursula K. Le Guin
#425 Always Coming Home by Ursula K. Le Guin
#519 The Left Hand of Darkness by Ursula K. Le Guin
#165 A Bend in the River by V. S. Naipaul
#268 A House for Mr.Biswas by V. S. Naipaul
#436 Testament of Youth by Vera Brittain
#359 Le Silence de La Mer by Vercors
#260 Les Misérables by Victor Hugo
#134 A Suitable Boy by Vikram Seth
#14 To the Lighthouse by Virginia Woolf
#33 Mrs Dalloway by Virginia Woolf
#255 Orlando: A Biography by Virginia Woolf
#468 A Room of One’s Own by Virginia Woolf
#5 Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov
#101 Pale Fire by Vladimir Nabokov
#514 Candide by Voltaire
#368 The Souls of Black Folk by W. E. B. Du Bois
#458 Of Human Bondage by W. Somerset Maugham
#529 The Razor’s Edge by W. Somerset Maugham
#201 Austerlitz by W.G. Sebald
#222 The Moviegoer by Walker Percy
#311 Angle of Repose by Wallace Stegner
#403 Leaves of Grass by Walt Whitman
#538 Waverley by Walter Scott
#505 Jayber Crow by Wendell Berry
#118 The Woman in White by Wilkie Collins
#278 The Moonstone by Wilkie Collins
#121 My Ántonia by Willa Cather
#323 Death Comes for the Archbishop by Willa Cather
#532 O Pioneers! by Willa Cather
#459 Go in beauty by William Eastlake
#9 The Sound and the Fury by William Faulkner
#62 As I Lay Dying by William Faulkner
#73 Absalom, Absalom! by William Faulkner
#99 Light in August by William Faulkner
#146 JR by William Gaddis
#291 The Recognitions by William Gaddis
#339 Neuromancer by William Gibson
#20 Lord of the Flies by William Golding
#246 In the Heart of the Heart of the Country & Other Stories by William H. Gass
#524 The Tunnel by William H. Gass
#528 Omensetter’s Luck by William H. Gass
#156 Ironweed by William J. Kennedy
#570 The Varieties of Religious Experience by William James
#105 Vanity Fair by William Makepeace Thackeray
#216 The Soft Machine by William S. Burroughs
#427 Naked Lunch by William S. Burroughs
#239 The Complete Works of William Shakespeare by William Shakespeare
#321 Hamlet by William Shakespeare
#396 King Lear by William Shakespeare
#398 Othello by William Shakespeare
#404 The Sonnets by William Shakespeare
#168 Sophie’s Choice by William Styron
#286 The Rifles by William Vollmann
#561 You Bright & Risen Angels by William Vollmann
#620 The Second World War by Winston S. Churchill
#193 Life of Pi by Yann Martel
#334 Snow Country by Yasunari Kawabata
#52 Their Eyes Were Watching God by Zora Neale Hurston

It’s quite a list. I’ve read a lot of these, but not all by any means. If I ever find myself starving to death in a post-apocalyptic library, I’ll have a good idea of how to proceed.

The Old Wolf has spoken.

Antonio’s Doctor Bill

This whimsical and dark bit of fiction was written by my grandfather, Delbert M. Draper, Sr., and printed in Vol. 1, No. 1, of the University Pen (a student organ of the University of Utah) in January, 1910. G’pa served as the Editor-in-Chief of the publication.

ANTONIO JACKETTA came to America in 1897. He came because the doctor told him, he would die of heart failure in less than five years if he remained in Italy. Antonio was a poor laborer, but his wife and five little black-eyed boys and girls loved him without longing for riches. He was a faithful laborer, moreover, and his wife was so industrious and economical that when the doctor’s rather startling announcement came, she had enough money saved to pay Antonio’s fare to the extreme western part of the United States, where wages were two dollars a day. At that enormous rate Antonio hoped to save enough in two years, at the most, to pay for the transportation of his whole family to the little castle he had already builded in the air.

Arriving in the West, he found conditions as favorable as he expected. He got a job on the railroad, which kept him busy seven days of the week, and, better still, the new climate made him forget that he had a heart, except as the region about it filled with a longing for a tender and happy reunion with his family.

For six months he labored, and for six months he saved, taking time for no other amusement than to read and answer letters from home. His savings were growing into a shining heap, which he counted fondly, not because he was miserly, but because it would soon remove the broad sea that separated him from his loved ones. The size an jingle of the pile set Antonio to calculating on the possibility of sending for them at the end of the year. His figures said it could be done, barring accidents, and provided he gave up on the idea  of a home. Without stating plainly his purpose, he wrote to his wife, covertly hinting at the new possibility, though he did not conceal the fact that the luxury of a home would have to be foregone. In doubtful expectation he, awaited his wife’s reply.

Mrs. Jacketta had been a lace-maker before her marriage, and no sooner had Antonio sailed for America than she began making Venetian lace, which she sold to tourists at a fair profit. It was not without pride, then, that she answered Antonio: “I have half enough money of my own to build a cottage, and the soonest you can name for our sailing will seem a great way off to us.”

Poor Antonio cried when, he got this letter, and thanked the blessed Virgin for so dear a helpmate. On the fourth day following this happy settlement Antonio pitched twice as much dirt as his companions, but on the fifth day, every time he stooped to fill his shovel he felt a little catch in his left side that made him slacken his pace. The next day he pitched only half as much gravel as the laziest man of the gang, for which he was called a measly dago and threatened with discharge. On the seventh day he was unable to work at all, and on the eighth day he was in the hospital, vacillating between life and death. Excitement and over-exertion had renewed his old affliction in an aggravated form. But Antonio was no weakling in will; he refused to die while he had so much for which to live. His recovery might have been more speedy than it was had he known that the railroad company paid the doctor bills of its employees, but he didn’t know, and consequently he was much depressed when he considered how time and money were slipping from his grasp. He improved most rapidly when his mind was in Italy or when enjoying the doctor’s kindly smile and the nurse’s gentle touch, in an atmosphere infinitely sweeter than that of the railroad.

Slowly but surely he regained his strength, and as soon as he was able to be about he visited the doctor at his office. “You have been a very kind to me, doctor,” he said. “You save a de life. But I got a de mon’. I pay all. How much, doctor?”

Antonio had been in the hospital twenty-six days and he judged that the doctor’s time was worth about twice as much as his, on which basis his bill would run up to about one-hundred dollars. Paying this would reduce his savings to two hundred dollars, and at the same time remove the arrival of his wife several months. But he was patient and glad matters were no worse.

The doctor looked at him rather whimsically .He had already received his fee from the railroad company; but here was an opportunity for a practical joke too good to pass. So he said: “You’re a pretty good fellow, Antonio, and I don’t mean to be hard on you. I’ll let you off for five hundred dollars.”

Antonio looked up with wild, staring eyes, and then sank in a heap in the big arm chair. The doctor hastened to raise the limp body, but the face was pallid and the heart was still.

– D.M.D.

Delbert Morley Draper(2)

Ursula K. LeGuin: Ever classy and insightful

Recently Ursula K. LeGuin was presented with a well-deserved Lifetime Achievement Award; Neil Gaiman presented her the Medal for Distinguished Contribution to American Letters.

If you love writing or reading, her acceptance speech is worth a look, so I have reproduced a transcript here:

“Thank you Neil. And to the givers of this beautiful reward, my thanks from the heart. My family, my agent, editors, know that my being here is their doing as well as mine, and that the beautiful reward is theirs as much as mine. And I rejoice in accepting it for, and sharing it with, all the writers who were excluded from literature for so long–my fellow authors of fantasy and science fiction. Writers of the imagination, who for the last 50 years watched the beautiful rewards go to the so-called realists.

I think hard times are coming when we will be wanting the voices of writers who can see alternatives to how we live now, and can see through our fear-stricken society and its obsessive technologies, to other ways of being, and even imagine some real grounds for hope. We will need writers who can remember freedom. Poets, visionaries—the realists of a larger reality.

Right now, I think we need writers who know the difference between the production of a market commodity and the practice of an art. Developing written material to suit sales strategies in order to maximize corporate profit and advertising revenue is not quite the same thing as responsible book publishing or authorship. (Thank you, brave applauders.)

Yet I see sales departments given control over editorial. I see my own publishers in a silly panic of ignorance and greed, charging public libraries for an e-book six or seven times more than they charge customers. We just saw a profiteer try to punish a publisher for disobedience and writers threatened by corporate fatwa, and I see a lot of us, the producers, who write the books, and make the books, accepting this. Letting commodity profiteers sell us like deodorant, and tell us what to publish and what to write. (Well, I love you too, darling.)

Books, you know, they’re not just commodities. The profit motive is often in conflict with the aims of art. We live in capitalism. Its power seems inescapable. So did the divine right of kings. Any human power can be resisted and changed by human beings. Resistance and change often begin in art, and very often in our art—the art of words.

I have had a long career and a good one. In good company. Now here, at the end of it, I really don’t want to watch American literature get sold down the river. We who live by writing and publishing want—and should demand—our fair share of the proceeds. But the name of our beautiful reward is not profit.

Its name is freedom.

Thank you.”

Ms. LeGuin’s bibliography is visible at Wikipedia.

Ursula has spoken much better than The Old Wolf.

Found: The Swan Song of a Modern Hiawatha

Hiawatha

For decades, I’ve had a snippet of a poem running around in my head:

“Simple math and shrubbery pruning, checkers, lunch and water polo.”

This comes to mind often when I consider the un-challenging slate of classes for which I see many college freshmen sign up.

Today someone posted something on Facebook – which, thanks to the lack of a search function I can no longer find – that made me think of it again, and despite earlier searches on Google coming up poor, this time I got a hit.

The link took me to a page in the Gainesville Sun from August 10, 1985, in a column by Bill Henderson. He credited the source thusly:

“To honor the coming season I would have you read an ode to the football player himself. An ode I stole some years back from some fellow hack that I would acknowledge if I could remember his name.”

Having seen the full text of the poem again, I was pretty sure the original appearance of the poem was in Mad Magazine, of which I was a faithful and voracious reader through the 60s and 70s. A bit more Googling, and I had located the source: Mad #100, January 1966: “The Swan Song of a Modern Hiawatha” – with apologies to Henry Wadsworth Longfellow’s “The Song of Hiawatha.”

So here, for your gratuitous enjoyment, is the full text of the poem as it appeared in Mad. Be warned – this is politically incorrect for our day and age, and needs to be framed in the mindset of the 60s.

Edit: With thanks to commenter Dave Meek who pointed out that a line was missing in the first stanza. A search for verification led to a discovery of the entire issue of Mad #100 online in PDF format, enabling me to add the image above, as well as an entire stanza that was also missing.

The Swan Song of a Modern Hiawatha
Text: Tom Koch / Art: Don Martin.

By a pond in Minnesota
Near the stagnant Green-Scum-Water
Stood the campus of Nokomis,
Rotten football school, Nokomis;
Sent forth players weak and gentle:
(Mostly horticulture majors.)

Then one autumn thru the pine trees
Through the black and gloomy forest,
Strode the freshman, Hiawatha;
Strong with limbs like reindeer sinew,
Signed to play for Memphis Normal,
He was lost and asked directions.

“Shut my mouth,” drawled Coach Kowalksi,
‘Ya’ll are here; the South awaits thee,”
Hiawatha gazed in wonder
At the snow up to his armpits.
“This is Dixie?” thus he mumbled,
“Stupid Redskin,” joshed Kowalski.

So it was that Hiawatha,
Son of Ishkoodah, the comet,
Donned his new Nokomis beanie;
Huddled in the bunk assigned him.
“Geez, it’s cold!” wailed Hiawatha.
“Hush, my fullback,” cooed Kowalski.

Soon the young brave, Hiawatha,
Found himself matriculated;
Signed for classes that befit him;
Simple math and Shrubbery Pruning,
Checkers, Lunch and Water Polo,
(Perfect course; wrong institution.)

In their quest for football players,
All the frats sought Hiawatha
‘Til they studied close his features,
Then, as one wheel aptly put it,
“I dunno, Could be an Injun’
Yet to me, he still looks Jewish.”

One by one did Hiawatha
Learn to know the campus creatures;
Erickson, the hot rod owner,
Nippersink, the brooding Commie;
Best of all, he soon discovered
Emmie Sue, the Chi Omega.

“Ee-wa-voom!” yowled Hiawatha,
(Football practice now forgotten),
I was taught by wrinkled Grandma
How to woo the elk and otter,
Speak of marriage to the pine cone.
THIS the old crone failed to mention.”

Days of torment quickly followed
For the harried Coach Kowalski,
Left with three men in his backfield
While the fourth played hanky-panky
Out behind the pipestone quarry;
Fiendish plans engulfed the mentor.

On that frigid autumn evening,
Emmie Sue, the Chi Omega,
Listened with a wide-eyed horror
As the coach, most confidential
Warned her darkly of “the nut who
Thinks he’s living now in Memphis.”

Came the dawn and grieving Emmie
Sought the help of Doctor Swinehorst,
Dean of studies Psychiatric
At the Med School of Nokomis.
“All’s not lost,” the Doc assured her,
“If you think you can afford me.”

Soon the young brave, Hiawatha,
Lay upon the couch of Swinehorst,
Lay there fearless as the birch tree,
“Tell me of your childhood trauma,”
Said that Doc with notebook handy;
“What of Mom and Dad and siblings?”

Hiawatha answered calmly,
“Daddy was a white-fire comet;
Mom a songbird in the willows,
I had many forest brothers:
Brown bear, moose and timid rabbit.”
“Ach du Lieber!” cried out Swinehorst.

Emmie Sue, the Chi Omega,
Heard the tragic diagnosis.
“Crazy as a loon,” said Swinehorst,
“Even thinks the loon’s his sister,
I’d suggest you drop this savage;
Date instead my son, the dentist.”

Hiawatha, brokenhearted,
Now without his love beside him
Turned his thoughts at last to football;
Learn what meant the mumbled signals
Of the quarterback, Wochowicz;
Scrimmaged ’til his bridgework rattled.

Happy then was Coach Kowalski,
Dreamed he in untroubled slumber
Neath the full moon, Nu-see-wah-goo,
Of Nokomis, undefeated;
Dreamed of glory soon to come on
New Year’s Day in Pasadena.

Only Gitchee-Goomee Teachers
Hated rival of Nokomis,
Barred the path the coach envisioned,
Waiting tensely for the kickoff,
Hiawatha eyed the bleachers;
There sat Emmie with the dentist.

“Aush-wea-ecch,” moaned Hiawatha
As the pigskin bounced before him,
Caromed off his furrowed forehead
Toward the goal where Gitchee-Goomee’s
Tackle grabbed it unmolested,
Scored the first of 14 touchdowns.

With the Dean on Monday morning,
Hiawatha got the message:
“F” in Math and Shrubbery Pruning.
“Memphis pledged I’d pass,” he bleated.
Roared the Dean in tones like thunder,
“Memphis! Buster, you’re in Flunksville.”

Quiet reigns now in Nokomis.
Gone is Emmie; gone the dentist;
Gone the mob lynched Kowalski.
All that’s left; a voice heard faintly;
Hiawatha, college dropout,
Back home chatting with the chipmunk.

I can now present you with the original in all its glory, accompanied by Don Martin’s hilarious illustrations (click each image to enlarge):

Hia1  Hia2  Hia3  Hia4

You’re welcome.

The Old Wolf has spoken.

Lost and Found

I love old science fiction. I recall stories that I’ve read and loved, and enjoy going back to them again on occasion to refresh my memory. Now and then, however, one of them gets lost.

A recent example was “The Coppersmith,” by Lester Del Rey, published in “Unknown” in 1939. I first read it in 1968, if I’m not mistaken, in the collection of a housemaster during my senior year in prep school. Then I moved on and time moved on; until the advent of the Internet, I had no way of tracking this lovely story down again, but a few years ago I was able to find it in a collection of Del Rey stories and rejoiced to renew my acquaintance with an old friend.

Another story was more elusive. I have no idea when I first read it, but all I remembered was that it was about aliens who came to earth looking for refuge, and they needed salt to reproduce. The word for salt was “shreeprill,” and the ones who broke the communication barriers down were the wives (and children) of the negotiators. I hunted high and low, wide and deep, without result – for decades, until yesterday.

Finally a hit. The story was called “Subcommittee” by Zenna Henderson, and was collected in an anthology called “The Everything Box.” I looked online, and found a number of copies, but they are fairly rare: most of them are selling for around $25.00.

ZHenderson1953

Zenna Henderson in 1953

I had told my wife about my hunt for this story, and she also remembered having read it. When I reported to her the results of my successful find, she replied, “Oh, Zenna! I love her writing.” She asked me what book it was in. I told her. She dug into her collection and in 10 seconds pulled out the very edition that I was looking for. And I sat down astonied… for years, the story was sitting on our bookshelves, right under my nose.

How pleasant it was to re-read this delightful tale, along with the other ones in the collection. I must have had it at one point in my life, because all of them seemed mightiliy familiar.

Only one or two left that I can think of which I still need to locate. I’m not sure if I ever will, because I think they were in French, in a collection I found at a flea market in Austria in 1975¹. But even if I can never find those, I’m well content. The Internet has triumphed again.

The Old Wolf has spoken.

—————————–

¹ One of the stories I’m still hunting for is similar to “The Conqueror” by Mark Clifton. It deals with a peculiar strain of coffee which had the odd result of making people think rationally. When some of it gets introduced into congress or parliament or somewhere, the first “victim” stands up and shouts “It’s all balls!”, whereupon in short order the entire body proceeds to stop bickering and pass a raft of laws designed to raise the living conditions of everyone. Wish I could find that one again.