Don’t waste your money on this garbage.

Every time I see a new scam for weight loss, I shed a tear for the people who are taken in. But when I see major retailers pushing snake oil, the tears dry up and are replaced with fiery heat under my collar.

Saw this at Walmart the other day – absolutely nothing new here, they’ve been doing this for a long time, but this is the latest example.

Scam 3

There’s no excuse for this. It’s taking advantage of people who are trying to release weight, selling them something that is just as valuable as the gravel in their driveways.

There is no magic bullet.

The large print giveth, but the small print taketh away: “Kelli used C. canephora robusta with diet and exercise and has been remunerated. Average weight loss with C. canephora robusta was 10.95 lbs in 60 days with a low-calorie diet and 3.7 lbs in 8 weeks with a calorie-reduced diet and moderate exercise.”

Scam 0

Do you happen to detect a trend here? As I mentioned in an earlier post, reducing caloric intake and increasing caloric consumption (i.e. exercise) will cause you to release weight even if you:

  • Take HydroxyCut
  • take homeopathic drops
  • sing an aria from “Aida”
  • stand on your head and spit nickels, or
  • eat a spoonful of Portland cement with each meal.

If  you weren’t sure, C. canephora robusta is also known as “robusta coffee,” a cousin to arabica coffee, and is often used in espresso because of its stronger flavor and increased bitterness.

Coffee. Trying to recycle the “green coffee extract” scam. Let’s look at all the ingredients:

Scam1

You can see that what you’re getting is basically caffeine and some other random herbs. And for weight release, it’s junk. It doesn’t work. And they know it.

To release weight, eat less and/or exercise more, preferably both. If you set up a consistent caloric deficit, you’ll gradually release weight in a healthy way (unless you really have a medical condition preventing it, in which case see your physician.) Don’t get me wrong, I know it’s hard; as I saw posted by a Facebook friend just today:

18402645_1341988729221478_8904592300982774124_n.png

And that’s another conversation. But don’t waste your money at Walmart or elsewhere on this worthless garbage.

The Old Wolf has spoken.

Weight-loss fraud – still a multibillion dollar industry

With all the good food to eat in the world, compounded by reality shows about celebrity chefs and such things, it’s easy as pie to gain weight. (I see what I did there.) But getting it off is another matter.

Which is why the weight loss industry, including its concomitant multilevel marketing products, homeopathic remedies, and outright fraudulent garbage, is big business. Despite FTC actions trying to shut down fraudulent operators, everyone wants a slice of that pie, and in the wild-west environment of the Internet, it’s not hard to wet one’s beak.

I’ve written about fraudulent health products before, and I’m not likely to stop – as long as the scumbags are out there trying to get your money. People still want to lose weight, people are still looking for that “magic bullet” that will allow them to drop 8 dress sizes before their next reunion without any effort – like eating less food and exercising more – and the Internet is the perfect place for affiliate marketing cockroaches to lay their deceptive eggs.

Case in point – today, an ad seen on my mobile phone where I don’t have ad-blocking technology installed, otherwise I’d be very unlikely to see things like this at all:

Garcinia 5

I went down the rabbit hole just to see who was offering what, and how the scam was presented:

Garcinia 0

One Google search later and I had come up with a Snopes article from April 2017 relating to the same “report,” which never appeared on CNN and which was full of false and misleading claims.

Garbage like this is peddled by affiliate marketers, who will say anything and do anything to get your money and keep it. So clicking on that little ad took me to a page with one of those automatically-generated alphabet-soup URLs: http://purelytwinsblog.com/fitness/indexgg.php?gclid=CJ-Zl8qt19QCFQuSaQodmWUKsg, full of another whole raft of lies, misinformation and general bull pucky. The “limited time” info is, of course, today’s date. Hurry, supplies are limited [scarcity principle working there, folks.]

Garcinia1

If you want a free sample, you get taken to one of any number of affiliate web sites, one of which is seen below:

Garcinia 2.jp

Look how many “other people” are looking at this page right now! You may lose out! Hurry!

And here’s where you pay your slight fee for shipping, conveniently discounted.

Garcinia 4

Simple, right? but at the bottom of that page is a link that says “Terms,” and by all that’s holy you had better read every word (I’ve replicated the entire agreement at the end of this entry, just for your reference. This document kept an attorney busy for quite a while.

Points of interest:

  1. Additionally, you will be automatically enrolled in our auto-shipment and auto-billing program which charges you for a 1 month supply every 30 days starting 30 days after your trial period ends at the low price of $94.19 per month. Thus, if you do not cancel your subscription, you will be billed $94.19 for your original product 14 days after the original order date, and then billed again $94.19 for a new shipment of Ultra-Premium Garcinia Cambogia 44 days after your original purchase date. You will be automatically billed and shipped a new product every 30 days until you cancel your subscription. [That’s one hell of an expensive “free trial.”BY PROCEEDING WITH THIS PURCHASE, I UNDERSTAND AND AGREE THAT THIS CONSUMER TRANSACTION INVOLVES A NEGATIVE OPTION, AND THAT I MAY BE LIABLE FOR PAYMENT OF FUTURE GOODS AND SERVICES UNDER THE TERMS OF THIS AGREEMENT FOR $94.19 PER MONTH IF I FAIL TO NOTIFY THE SUPPLIER NOT TO SUPPLY THE GOODS OR SERVICES DESCRIBED.

    These “negative option” agreements are sleazy and unethical in my book. You should stay away from any company that tries to rope you in to one. A lot of people will not read these terms and conditions, and as a result may never get their money back, but if they click the “rush my sample” button, or whatever it says, they are certifying that they have done so.

  2. It will be very difficult for you to get a refund, and the “customer service agents” are very well-trained at deflecting requests for refunds.
  3. You cannot sue for damages – you agree to binding arbitration.
  4. You may not join a class-action suit against these people.

Be very, very careful out there. A huge percentage of ads you see on the Internet lead to websites just like this one, full of outright lies and deception. There’s only one way to lose weight, and that’s with a caloric deficit [eat less food and exercise more]. You should not be losing more than 1-2 pounds per week for a healthy weight release. There is no magic bullet or miracle pill, or substance, or liquid, or gel, or wrap, or anything. There’s just not.

The Old Wolf has Spoken.


Full Terms and Conditions Text

Terms and Conditions and Refund Policy

TERMS & CONDITIONS

LAST UPDATED: January 19, 2016

Contact Details

Contact customer service for any reason at 1-888-564-3218. Customer service is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, with the exception of all major holidays.

Member User Agreement

You must read and agree to these Terms and Conditions before placing Your order for the 14 day Trial Offer of Ultra-Premium Garcinia Cambogia. By placing Your order for the 14 day Trial Offer of Ultra-Premium Garcinia Cambogia You agree to be bound by the following Terms and Conditions:

ATTENTION: This is a binding agreement between You, the person or entity agreeing to the terms contained in this document (I, You, Your or Customer), and Novel Health LLC, the makers of Ultra-Premium Garcinia Cambogia, and the owner and administrator of this Website and all content and functionality contained herein (Our, Us, or Company) (collectively, the Parties or We). These terms and conditions, as well as any additional terms, conditions and covenants referenced in or made available by hyperlink in this document (collectively, these Terms, Terms of Use or this Agreement), govern Your use of and access to this Website and any and all of its sub-pages (collectively, the Website).

ACCEPTANCE OF TERMS OF USE: By using, visiting, or browsing the Website, as well as placing an order with Novel Health, LLC through the Website or customer service center, You accept, without limitation or qualification, these Terms of Use and agree, without limitation, to the terms of Our Privacy Statement. If You do not agree to be bound by these Terms of Use and Privacy Statement, You should exit the Website immediately. By accessing, using or ordering products through the Website, You affirm that You have read this Agreement and understand, agree, and consent to all Terms contained herein.

These Terms of Use constitute the entire agreement between Novel Health, LLC and You, and supersedes all prior or contemporaneous agreements, representations, warranties, and understandings with respect to the Website, the content, products, or services provided by or through the Website, and the subject matter of these Terms of Use. This Agreement is intended to be governed by the Electronic Signatures in Global and National Commerce Act. You manifest Your agreement to the Terms in this document by any act demonstrating Your assent thereto, including clicking any button containing the words I Agree; Rush My Order; Submit or similar syntax, or by merely accessing the Website, whether You have read these terms or not. It is suggested that You print this form for Your personal records.

You further agree not to use or access the Website if doing so would violate the laws of Your state, province or country. At the bottom of this page appears a last modified date. If the last modified date remains unchanged, then You may presume that no changes have been made since the last modified date. A changed last modified dates indicates that this document has been updated or edited, and the updated or edited version supersedes any prior versions immediately upon posting.

Product Disclaimer: I understand the statements regarding these products have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease.

I understand the information on this Web site or in emails is designed for educational purposes only and is not intended to be a substitute for informed medical advice or care.

I understand I should not use this information to diagnose or treat any health problems or illnesses without consulting my doctor. I also understand that Ultra-Premium Garcinia Cambogia is not intended or to be used to treat any type of medical condition.

WARNING: Not intended for use by persons under 18 years of age. Consult a physician before using this product if You have any medical condition including, but not limited to, strokes, high blood pressure, heart, liver, kidney or thyroid disease, diabetes, anemia, depression, anxiety, other psychiatric conditions, a family history of these or other medical conditions, or if taking any prescription, OTC and/or other herbal medications.

“Purchase Option” Specific Terms and Conditions:

Please note that we offer our customers two different options for purchasing our products.

Option #1 is a one-time purchase option whereby you would pay a one time charge for a specific amount of product. You would be charged immediately for your purchase and your product would be shipped within 24 hours. Additionally; you would never receive any future shipments from us, nor be charged ever again unless you contact us to place another order.

Option #2 is a 14 Day Trial Offer purchase option whereby you would pay a small shipping and handling fee immediately for a full 1 month supply. The 14 Day trial offer allows you to defer payment of the product for 14 days while you try the product, and is followed by future shipments and charges for additional products until you cancel your subscription.

In depth details of these 2 options are provided below.

Ultra-Premium Garcinia Cambogia One-Time Purchase Terms and Conditions:

Please take a few minutes to read the following, as by concluding your One-Time Purchase of Ultra-Premium Garcinia Cambogia you automatically accept the following terms and conditions.

We are confident you will see the benefits of using our Ultra-Premium Garcinia Cambogia Product. You are taking the next step toward a more fit & healthy you!

Upon concluding your purchase, the credit card you provide will be charged a One-time fee equivalent to the price as quoted related to the package you select. You will always be quoted a complete price inclusive of the product, shipping & handling — and this is the charge that will appear on your credit card. You will only ever be charged the quoted purchase price this one time, and you will never receive any future product or charges from us.

If you feel Ultra-Premium Garcinia Cambogia is not for you for any reason, simply call us within 30 days from the order date to make arrangements for the return the product and our customer service team will provide you with an RMA number and instructions. Please note that bottles must be unopened with the product safety seal intact in order to receive a full refund. Also, please note that there may be a restocking fee as detailed below in the “Refund Policy” section that is applicable for all returns.

Ultra-Premium Garcinia Cambogia 14 day Trial Offer Terms and Conditions:

Please take a few minutes to read the following, as by concluding your purchase of the Ultra-Premium Garcinia Cambogia Trial Offer you automatically accept the following terms and conditions. Please note that this is NOT a risk-free trial offer, since you will be charged for Shipping & Handling at the time of purchase, and may be charged a retention fee of $9.95 if you decide to cancel within the trial period and not return the product.

Upon signing up for your trial offer, the credit card you provide will be charged a Shipping & Handling fee of $4.97 and you will be shipped a 1 month supply of Ultra-Premium Garcinia Cambogia. If you contact customer service to terminate your trial within 14 days of the date that you enroll in the Program, you will have the option of either returning the remaining balance of unused product and pay no fee, or keep the remaining unused product and pay a $9.95 retention fee. Either way, you will receive no further shipments and will not be billed again.

If you do not cancel your trial within the 14 day trial period, you will be billed $94.19 for the product. Additionally, you will be automatically enrolled in our auto-shipment and auto-billing program which charges you for a 1 month supply every 30 days starting 30 days after your trial period ends at the low price of $94.19 per month. Thus, if you do not cancel your subscription, you will be billed $94.19 for your original product 14 days after the original order date, and then billed again $94.19 for a new shipment of Ultra-Premium Garcinia Cambogia 44 days after your original purchase date. You will be automatically billed and shipped a new product every 30 days until you cancel your subscription. As a bonus for remaining in the auto-shipment and auto-billing program, all shipping and handling fees will be waived and you will only pay the product price of $94.19 per month.

If you feel Ultra-Premium Garcinia Cambogia is not for you, call us at 1-888-564-3218 to cancel within 14 days from the order date to avoid the purchase price of $94.19 and enrollment in the auto-shipment and auto-billing program, which charges you for a 1 month supply every 30 days starting 30 days after your trial period ends, at the low price of $94.19 per month.

PLEASE NOTE:

There is no obligation to continue in any of our programs, and you can cancel at any time by simply contacting a Customer Service Representative at 1-888-564-3218. Your enrollment date is the date that you submit your order for the trial of the product. Orders are shipped within 24 hours Mon.- Saturday, excluding Sundays and USPS holidays in which case your order will be shipped the morning of the next business day. Orders are shipped via USPS First Class Mail with tracking, and actual delivery time of your order will vary by region.

You can cancel your membership in our auto-shipment program and avoid further Monthly Charges at any time by contacting customer service at 1-888-564-3218. Customer service is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, with the exception of all major holidays.

Please note results may vary, but with continuous use of Ultra-Premium Garcinia Cambogia, we are confident you will see the results you are trying to achieve.

By proceeding with your purchase, you acknowledge and agree that Novel Health, LLC will not obtain additional authorization from you for each future installment of the $94.19 auto-ship program that will be charged to the credit card you provided initially. You agree that as part of the auto-shipment program, Novel Health will ship a new supply every month, and you will be responsible for returning any unused and unopened product in order to receive a refund. In addition, you do not hold Novel Health, LLC responsible for any overdraft charges or fees which you might incur during the ongoing auto-ship program Membership.

All fees are payable in United States currency. For so long as your Membership is active, you will be billed, and you will be required to pay, all applicable charges. Failure to use the Ultra-Premium Garcinia Cambogia Products does not constitute a basis for refusing to pay any of the associated charges. Subject to the conditions set forth herein, you agree to be bound by the Billing Provisions of Novel Health, LLC in effect at any given time. Upon reasonable prior written notice to you (with e-mail sufficing), Novel Health, LLC reserves the right to change its Billing Provisions whenever necessary, in its sole discretion. Continued use of the Site and/or receipt of the Ultra-Premium Garcinia Cambogia Products after receipt of such notice shall constitute consent to any and all such changes; provided, however, that any amendment or modification to the Billing Provisions shall not apply to any charges incurred prior to the applicable amendment or modification.

Novel Health, LLC authorization to provide and bill for the Novel Health, LLC Products is obtained by way of your electronic signature or, where applicable, via physical signature and/or voice affirmation. Once an electronic signature is submitted, this electronic order constitutes an electronic letter of agency. Novel Health, LLCs’ reliance upon your electronic signature was specifically sanctioned and written into law when the Uniform Electronic Transactions Act and the Electronic Signatures in Global and National Transactions Act were enacted in 1999 and 2000, respectively. Both laws specifically preempt all state laws that recognize only paper and handwritten signatures. Where you fail to make any auto-ship program payments, such overdue amounts will be subject to your account being deactivated, in which case no further product will be shipped to you and access to the Membership site will be denied, for non-payment.

Shipping Terms

Upon confirming your order you will be shipped one jar of Ultra-Premium Garcinia Cambogia. Orders are shipped within 24 hours (Monday through Saturday) using our standard USPS First Class shipping method and delivery generally takes as little as 2 to 4 days depending on your geographic location. Please be advised that shipments are not sent on Sundays or any USPS Holidays. Novel Health, LLC does not guarantee specific arrival dates or times.

PLEASE CONTACT CUSTOMER CARE AT 1-888-564-3218 FOR SHIPMENTS NOT RECEIVED WITHIN 5 DAYS. REFUNDS WILL NOT BE ISSUED FOR SHIPMENTS CLAIMED AS UNDELIVERED IF NOT REPORTED WITHIN 14 DAYS. When an incorrect or invalid shipping address is provided at time of order, and Safe Secure Ship has not been purchased, the reshipment will be subject to the retail shipping and handling charge of $12.95(USD).

Contacting Customer Service: You may contact our customer care department at 1-888-564-3218. Customer service is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, with the exception of all major holidays.

IMPORTANT…

1) Please do not return any product to us without first obtaining an RMA number from customer service.

2) If you do not receive your shipment within 5 working days from the date you placed your order, please contact us immediately so we can address the situation appropriately.

Return Address:

Ultra-Premium Garcinia Returns
120 East 8th Street, #301
Los Angeles, CA 90014
USA

Refund Policy

If cancelling before the end of the trial, you must either return balance of product or pay retention fee of $9.95 per product to keep the products and cancel your trial. No retention/restocking fee is charged if product is cancelled and an RMA is issued during trial the period. Please note: In order to avoid the retention fee, the trial must be cancelled and an RMA issued before the end of the trial period. The product then needs to be returned within 30 days of issuing the RMA to avoid the retention fee. For Unopened Non-Trial products (either subscription or straight sale), you can return products for 30 days after purchase date, with a $9.95 restocking fee. Product must be unopened to be returned.

Return Address : Ultra-Premium Garcinia, 120 East 8 th St. #301, Los Angeles, CA 90014

Phone: 888-564-3218

PLEASE NOTE:

1. We refund all cases of fraud and unauthorized transactions inclusive of all shipping and handling charges. Additional refunds are issued at the discretion of the company. Please contact directly at 1-888-564-3218 if you suspect any fraud or unauthorized transactions may have taken place.

2. We reserve the right to replace any damaged products in lieu of refunding them at the discretion of the company.

3. In instances where a refund is warranted and agreed to by the company, customers are restricted to receiving a single refund per product ordered. Multiple refunds for purchases processed in multiple months are not permitted – i.e. We will only consider refunding the most recent months transaction and never multiple past months.

4. We reserve the right to refuse a refund to any customer who repeatedly requests refunds or who, in our judgment, requests refunds in bad faith.

5. In order to request a refund, you must contact Our Customer Service Department at 1-888-564-3218. IN ORDER TO PROCESS A REFUND, ALL RETURNS MUST BE PRE-APPROVED AND ASSIGNED A RETURN MERCHANDISE AUTHORIZATION (RMA) NUMBER. If a refund is warranted, you will be provided with an RMA number and instructions on how to proceed.

6. Once an RMA notice has been issued to you, you will automatically receive an RMA email confirmation and authorization.

7. In order for your refund to be processed, you must include your RMA number in your return package in large and legible print. All returns outside of the trial period are subject to a $9.95 restocking fee.

8. Products must be unopened with the safety seal intact in order to receive a full refund, less the $9.95 restocking fee.

9. We must receive the remaining product back to our fulfillment facility in good condition, and once it is received and the RMA number logged into our systems, a refund will automatically be processed and you will receive an email confirmation that your refund has been processed. Please note that refunds are issued immediately upon processing your return, however, depending on the bank that issued the credit card a refund can take up to thirty (30) days to appear on your credit card statement.

10. Shipping and handling costs are not refundable with the exception of fraud or unauthorized charges.

11. A $9.95 restocking fee is applicable for all returned orders outside of the trial period.

12. You are responsible for any costs incurred to package and safely return the product to our fulfillment facility.

TO BE ELIGIBLE FOR A REFUND, THE ITEM MUST MEET ALL OF THE FOLLOWING CRITERIA:

Product must be unopened and unused with safety seal intact.

Customer has 30 days from the time of purchase to obtain an RMA number for unopened and unused product. After 30 days, the purchase is final and no returns are accepted.

Limit one (1) return per product, per household.

Return can only be made on most current product billing cycle NO EXCEPTIONS.

Return product must be returned to us within thirty (30) days for US orders and (45) days for International orders of the assigned Return Merchandise Authorization (RMA) number.

Customer is responsible for all return shipping costs.

Reversals and Chargebacks

We consider chargebacks and reversals as potential cases of fraudulent use of our services and/or theft of services and as such will be treated. We reserve the right of filing a complaint with the appropriate local and federal authorities to investigate. Be advised that all activity and IP address information is being monitored and that this information may be used in a civil and/or criminal case(s) against a client if there is fraudulent use and or theft of services. IN THE EVENT THAT A REVERSAL OR CHARGEBACK CLAIM IS FILED WITH THE CARDHOLDER™S BANK, REFUND REQUESTS WILL BE DENIED BY OUR RISK MANAGEMENT DEPARTMENT TO PREVENT FRAUDULENT ACTIVITY ATTEMPTING TO OBTAIN MULTIPLE REFUNDS.

Credit Card Declines

In the event a credit card transaction declines, after product has been shipped or received, and you have not exercised your cancellation rights per the terms and conditions, we reserve the right to reprocess the transaction in full. This includes the right to resubmit the charge on or about every seven (7) days from the original declined transaction date and up to three (3) additional attempts thereafter. In the event of subsequent credit card declines, you authorize us to resubmit a reduced amount from one-half (1/2) or one-third (1/3) of the full purchase price until the full amount is obtained.

Contact Customer Care at 1-888-564-3218 if you have additional questions regarding credit card declines.

Damaged or Incorrect items

In the event that your order arrives damaged, or you receive the wrong item, please call our Customer Service Department at 1-888-564-3218 within 48 hours.

We ask that you do not dispose of any damaged products until you contact the Customer Service Department for instructions, as we may require the return of the damaged goods.

In the event of a damaged order, we will ship a replacement order promptly.

If you have ordered incorrectly, we will ship the correct item once we have received the return of the incorrect product.

All damaged orders must be reported within ten (10) business days of delivery.

Damaged orders not reported within ten (10) business days of delivery confirmation cannot be adjusted or credited.

NEGATIVE OPTION CLAUSE

BY PROCEEDING WITH THIS PURCHASE, I UNDERSTAND AND AGREE THAT THIS CONSUMER TRANSACTION INVOLVES A NEGATIVE OPTION, AND THAT I MAY BE LIABLE FOR PAYMENT OF FUTURE GOODS AND SERVICES UNDER THE TERMS OF THIS AGREEMENT FOR $94.19 PER MONTH IF I FAIL TO NOTIFY THE SUPPLIER NOT TO SUPPLY THE GOODS OR SERVICES DESCRIBED.

LIMITATION OF LIABILITY AND DISCLAIMER OF WARRANTY

THE MATERIALS AND PRODUCTS CONTAINED AND OFFERED ON THE WEBSITE ARE PROVIDED AS IS AND WITHOUT WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND EITHER EXPRESS OR IMPLIED. TO THE FULLEST EXTENT PERMISSIBLE PURSUANT TO APPLICABLE LAW, NOVEL HEALTH LLC DISCLAIMS ALL WARRANTIES, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED TO, IMPLIED WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY, FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE, OR OTHER VIOLATIONS OF RIGHTS. IN NO EVENT SHALL NOVEL HEALTH LLC OR ITS OFFICERS, DIRECTORS, SHAREHOLDERS, EMPLOYEES, INDEPENDENT CONTRACTORS, TELECOMMUNICATIONS PROVIDERS, AND AGENTS BE LIABLE FOR ANY INDIRECT, SPECIAL, INCIDENTAL, EXEMPLARY, CONSEQUENTIAL, OR PUNITIVE DAMAGES,UNDER ANY CAUSE OF ACTION WHATSOEVER INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED TO, CONTRACT, TORT, STRICT LIABILITY, WARRANTY, OTHERWISE, FOR ANY CLAIM CAUSE OF ACTION, FEE, EXPENSE, COST, OR LOSS (COLLECIVELY, CLAIMS) ARISING FROM OR RELATED TO THIS AGREEMENT, THE PRIVACY STATEMENT, THE PRODUCTS, OR THE CUSTOMER™S USE OF THE WEBSITE OR ANY PRODUCT. NOVEL HEALTH LLC ASSUMES NO LIABILITY OR RESPONSIBILITY FOR ANY ERRORS OR OMISSIONS IN THE CONTENT OF THE WEBSITE, THAT DEFECTS WILL BE CORRECTED, OR THAT ANY Novel Health, LLC WEBSITE OR THE SERVERS THAT MAKE SUCH MATERIALS AVAILABLE ARE FREE OF VIRUSES OR OTHER HARMFUL COMPONENTS; NOVEL HEALTH LLC FURTHER ASSUMES NO LIABILITY OR RESPONSIBILITY FOR ANY FAILURES, DELAYS,MALFUNCTIONS, OR INTERRUPTIONS IN THE DELIVERY OF ANY CONTENT CONTAINED ON THE WEBSITE; ANY LOSSES OR DAMAGES ARISING FROM THE USE OF THE CONTENT PROVIDED ON THE WEBSITE; OR ANY CONDUCT BY USERS OF THE WEBSITE, EITHER ONLINE OR OFFLINE. NOVEL HEALTH LLC DOES NOT WARRANT OR MAKE ANY REPRESENTATIONS REGARDING THE USE OR THE RESULTS OF THE USE OF THE MATERIALS ON ANY NOVEL HEALTH LLC WEBSITE IN TERMS OF THEIR CORRECTNESS, ACCURACY, RELIABILITY, OR OTHERWISE. YOU ASSUME THE ENTIRE COST OF ALL NECESSARY SERVICING, REPAIR, OR CORRECTION.

You agree that Novel Health, LLCs’ entire liability for all CLAIMS shall be limited, in the aggregate, to the lesser of (i) USD $500.00, or (ii) the total amount of money You paid to Novel Health, LLC in the one (1) month period immediately preceding the incident on which Your alleged claim is based. This limitation of liability shall apply for all CLAIMS, regardless of whether Novel Health, LLC was aware of or advised in advance of the possibility of damages or such CLAIMS. You understand that this is a significant limitation on your right to sue Company and you should not proceed if you do not agree. The warranties and representations specifically set forth in this agreement are the only warranties and representations with respect to this Agreement, and are in lieu of any and all other warranties, written or oral, express or implied, that may arise either by agreement between the parties hereto or by operation of law, including warranties of merchantability and fitness for a particular purpose. None of these warranties and representations will extend to any third person. Some jurisdictions do not allow the exclusion of certain warranties, so some of the above exclusions may not apply to You.

CONSENT TO RECEIVE EMAILS FROM US

If you sign up via any of our opt-in forms, or make a purchase from any of our websites, we will send you emails anywhere from one to three times a week. These emails can be comprised of order confirmation, shipping confirmation, announcement type emails &/or our newsletter and informational emails that we send out regularly. Typically in our emails you will find relevant information that is related to the purchase you made with us, and the newest tips, tricks, and information related to the products you have purchased. Please remember that if you no longer wish to hear from us, you can simply unsubscribe at any time using the link in the footer of any email that we send you.

REPRESENTATIONS; PRODUCT DISCLAIMERS

Novel Health, LLC is committed to improving the well-being of our customers by providing safe and effective wellness products made with the highest quality ingredients. You understand, however, that Our Products have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration, and Our Products are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease. The information on this Website or in emails is designed for informational purposes only and is not intended to be a substitute for informed medical advice or care.

You understand that You should not use this information to diagnose or treat any health problems or illnesses without consulting Your doctor or physician. You further understand that this Product is not intended for use by persons under 18 years of age. You also understand that the Product is not intended or to be used to treat any type of medical condition such as obesity. You agree that You either have consulted, or will consult, with a physician or doctor before using any of Our Products, particularly if You suffer from any medical condition including, but not limited to, strokes, high blood pressure, heart, liver, kidney or thyroid disease, diabetes, anemia, depression, anxiety, other psychiatric conditions, a family history of these or other medical conditions, or if taking any prescription, OTC and/or other herbal medications, and You agree that you will cease immediately from taking or using Our Products if You experience any ill effects or unintended side effects of any Product. Novel Health, LLC endeavors to provide You with accurate information about Our Products. You understand and agree that the information Novel Health, LLC conveys about or Products and/or the efficacy of Our Products, is obtained from independent third parties such as news agencies, scientific reports, and scientific / research entities (Third Parties). Novel Health, LLC does not warrant or represent that such information is error-free, and Novel Health, LLC does not represent or endorse any Third Parties or the methods that they use to arrive at their conclusions. All Product specifications, performance data, and other information on the Website is for informational and illustrative purposes only, and do not constitute a guarantee or representation that the Products will conform to such specifications or performance data.

Novel Health, LLC does not warrant or represent that Our Products will provide You with any particular benefits, or that Your results will match those of others who consume Our Products. Individual results will vary from person to person, and are dependent on a variety of factors.

By using the Website, You agree to comply with all applicable laws and regulations of the United States. The material provided on the Website is protected by law including, but not limited to, United States copyright and trademark law and international treaties. Novel Health, LLC makes no representation that materials contained in the Website are appropriate or available for use in other locations and access to them from territories where their contents are illegal is prohibited. Those who choose to access the Website from other locations outside the United States do so at their own initiative and are responsible for compliance with applicable local laws.

YOUR REPRESENTATIONS

You hereby represent and warrant that You are age eighteen (18) or older, that You have read this Agreement and thoroughly understand the terms contained in this Agreement, that any Products You purchase from the Website will be used for Your personal, non-commercial use, and that You will not re-sell, re-distribute or export any Product that You order from the Website. You further represent that Novel Health, LLC has the right to rely upon all information provided to Novel Health, LLC by You, and Novel Health, LLC may contact You by email, telephone or postal mail for any purpose, including but not limited to (i) follow-up calls, (ii) customer satisfaction surveys, and (iii) inquiries about any orders You placed, or considered placing, at or through the Website.

INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY

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We each agree to finally settle all disputes (as defined and subject to any specific exceptions below) only by arbitration. In arbitration, there is no judge or jury and review is limited. However, just as a court would, the arbitrator must honor the terms and conditions in this Agreement, the Terms of Use, and the Privacy Statement, and can award the same damages and relief, including any attorney’s fees authorized by law. The arbitrator’s decision and award is final and binding, with some exceptions under the Federal Arbitration Act (FAA), and judgment on the award may be entered in any court with jurisdiction. We also each agree as follows:

Disputes are any claims (including the definition of claims contained in the section Limitation of Liability and Disclaimer of Warranty above) or controversies against each other related in any way to this Agreement, the Terms of Use, the Privacy Statement, or Your purchase and use of the Product. This includes claims You bring against Our affiliates, officers, directors, shareholders, employees, independent contractors, telecommunications providers, or agents or other representatives, or that Novel Health, LLC brings against You.

If either Novel Health, LLC or You wants to arbitrate a dispute, We each agree to send written notice to the other providing a description of the dispute, previous efforts to resolve the dispute, all supporting documents/information, and the proposed resolution. Notice to You will be sent to Your billing address that You provided Us and notice to Us will be sent to: Novel Health, LLC, 1623 Central Ave, Suite 201, Cheyenne, WY 82001, USA. We each agree to make attempts to resolve this dispute within forty-five (45) days of receipt of the notice to arbitrate, then We may submit the dispute to formal arbitration.

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No Class Actions
TO THE EXTENT ALLOWED BY LAW, WE EACH WAIVE ANY RIGHT TO PURSUE DISPUTES ON A CONSOLIDATED OR CLASSWIDE BASIS; THATIS, TO EITHER JOIN A CLAIM WITH THE CLAIM OF ANY OTHER PERSION OR ENTITY, OR ASSERT A CLAIM IN A REPRESENTATIVE CAPACITYON BEHALF OF ANYONE ELSE IN ANY LAWSUIT, ARBITRATION, OR OTHER PROCEEDING.

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Rachael has now dropped sixteen dress sizes.

I wage war against spam, affiliate marketers, snake oil and general pseudo-scientific bulldust.

In a previous post about worthless nutritional supplements, I posted three identical advertorials from the “Every Day with Rachael” website, which is nothing more than an affiliate marketing portal for hawking useless weight-loss nostrums.

Yesterday I got another one.  I reproduce all four below:

rachael2

caralluma

rachael

Rachael Safflower

Notice: each one of these advertorials is based on a boilerplate – they’re identical.

Here at Everyday Health and Wellness, they’re skeptical of Forskolin, Caralluma, Garcinia Cambogia, and Safflower Oil. As a result, “Rachael” has volunteered to be a guinea pig each time. She would now have lost 100 lbs and 16 dress sizes, meaning that her “before” pictures are all a load of bulldust. While I can’t be positive, odds are that “Rachael” does not even exist.

Are we beginning to smell the foul stench of deception here?

Playing In the World Game rates “Everyday Health and Wellness” as

pants

“PANTS ON FIRE”

All of these products are basically worthless for weight release. They may have, in some way, benefits for some people, but there is no magic bullet, no magic pill that will let you lose weight without altering your caloric intake and exercise regime.

The affiliate marketers responsible for putting this spam into your inboxes, the manufacturers of these products, and everyone involved in trying to separate suckers from their money are soulless, immoral scammers. They will stop at nothing to get your money. Stay away from all products of this nature, or anything advertised in this manner.

The Old Wolf has spoken.

Every day is April Fool’s in nutrition.

“People who are desperate for reliable information face a bewildering array of diet guidance—salt is bad, salt is good, protein is good, protein is bad, fat is bad, fat is good—that changes like the weather. But science will figure it out, right? Now that we’re calling obesity an epidemic, funding will flow to the best scientists and all of this noise will die down, leaving us with clear answers to the causes and treatments.

Or maybe not.”

From a recent article at io9 by John Bohannon:

I Fooled Millions Into Thinking Chocolate Helps Weight Loss. Here’s How.

chocolate

With a poorly-crafted study that used a small sample and ignored how big the measured results actually were, a team of journalists managed to punk the nutrition-news circuit into publishing their study.

“A team of German researchers had found that people on a low-carb diet lost weight 10 percent faster if they ate a chocolate bar every day. It made the front page of Bild, Europe’s largest daily newspaper, just beneath their update about the Germanwings crash. From there, it ricocheted around the internet and beyond, making news in more than 20 countries and half a dozen languages. It was discussed on television news shows. It appeared in glossy print, most recently in the June issue of Shape magazine.”

But it was all a crock of dung. And sadly, I can guarantee that many people will continue to believe the lie, simply because it appeared in journals as “prestigious” as Prevention, regardless of this exposé or any further evidence to the contrary. Like the entire anti-Vax movement, nothing can kill a good excuse for mouth-foaming outrage, not even repeatedly-confirmed facts.

Read the article. It’s worth your time, if you’re interested in having accurate information on which to base your decisions.

A big part of the problem with modern “scientific” studies is the concept of “p-value.” It’s more complex than most people care about, but William Rozeboom wrote, “The use of P values and null hypothesis testing is ‘surely the most bone-headedly misguided procedure ever institutionalized in the rote training of science students.’ “

P value calculations tell you only the probability of seeing a result at least as big as what you saw if there is no real effect. (In other words, the P value calculation assumes the null hypothesis is true.) A small P value — low probability of the data you measured — might mean the null hypothesis is wrong, or it might mean that you just saw some unusual data. You don’t know which. And if there is a real effect, your calculation of a P value is rendered meaningless, because that calculation assumed that there wasn’t a real effect.

(ScienceNews – “P value ban: small step for a journal, giant leap for science”)

vsqweempzkjlcamyod3c

And if Randall Munroe pillories something, you have a pretty good idea that there are legitimate questions about its validity.

significant

The takeaway: don’t be excited just because one study says something, and I’ve written about this elsewhere. Look at the study, determine the size of the sample used, and see if you can ferret out how big the measured differences were. There’s a lot more digging you could do, but this is a good place to start.

The Old Wolf has spoken.

The Next “Miracle Weight Loss Herb” – Caralluma Fimbriata

According to Wikipedia, caralluma ascendens, another name for caralluma fimbriata, is an edible form of cactus used throughout the Indian subcontinent as an appetite suppressant, or so-called “famine food.”

Leave it to the snake-oil hawkers to turn this into the next big thing they can make a few bucks on.

Got an email today from a “friend,” one whose email account or information had been compromised:


From: Redacted

To: store-news@amazon.com, ChaseNotification@emailonline.chase.com,

…snip… pmlncc@kkwl.ac.th, mrs.phillipjones@live.com

Subject: [Redacted]

Hi! How are you?

It works! http://nationalbranding.com/probably/dead.php

[Name Redacted]


These spoofed emails are so transparent at this point that I can smell the fraud before I even open them. But, in the interest of public service, I follow these links to see what new scam is being perpetrated on the general public.

Today’s bowl of steaming camel ejecta led me to a website hawking caralluma, the new New NEW weight-loss miracle.

Landing

This is the same kind of affiliate marketing effluence that I have described elsewhere (just do a search at this blog for garcinia cambogia, for example).  Notice the tiny print below “ACT NOW!” that obligates you to a monthly $10.00 charge. But in the end, they’re less concerned with selling you their product as they are about getting your information which in the long run is much more valuable to them than a single sale.

Smell the foul rot of desperation as we proceed through the following screens:

Hook7

The first come-on is BOGO. If we don’t fall for that, we get this:

Hook1

Wait wait wait! OK, what now?

Hook2.jp

One of 50 customers, huh? Wow, I must really be special. But I guess I’m not really interested after all.

Hook3

Wait wait wait! Wow, a free trial bottle, and the offer is good for only 10 minutes! Shall we look and see?

Hook4

Now this is a wondrous thing. Instead of caralluma, I’ve been sent to a page to order garcinia cambogia. Looks like the affiliate marketer forgot to update his previous campaign.

Hook5.jp

More desperation.

Hook6

Now the bottle is free, and I only have to pay 99¢ for shipping. But remember, I’m still providing my credit card information, and obligating myself to that $10.00 per month “subscription.” Once these drones have your financial information, they are in a position to bill you for anything they want, or sell your credit card and personal information to other scumsuckers.

It’s all garbage, poorly-crafted but sadly effective affiliate marketing for products that have little or no value, or worse, are actually detrimental to your health.

Be careful out there.

The Old Wolf has spoken.

Forskolin – It sounds vaguely indecent.

junk

Just got this in my spam box today. It appears that Dr. Oz has now moved from hawking garcinia cambogia to this new garbage, Forskolin. The name sounds thoroughly unsavory for reasons I won’t go into here.

I found a great post over at Science Based Medicine that says many of the things I’d normally post here, so I’ll just refer you to that article, and other posts on the same website are worth reading as well. One good quote I will extract – all of these weight-loss nostrums

“…fit the same pattern: a small grain of plausibility, inadequate research, exaggerated claims, and commercial exploitation. There are always testimonials from people who lost weight, probably because their will to believe in the product encouraged them to try harder to eat less and exercise. But enthusiasms and fads don’t last. A year later, the same people are likely to be on a new bandwagon for a different product. Dr. Oz will never lack for new ideas to bolster his ratings. Enthusiasm for easy solutions and for the next new hope will never flag as long as humans remain human.”

In short, it’s all bulldust. But as network marketers will tell you, health and wellness is a trillion-dollar industry, and everyone is trying to get a slice of that pie. As one associate put it, that business is big enough that it would be sufficient to lick the knife that cut the pie. The sad part is, the pie is a lie. Most of what is hawked and marketed has little or no value. As I mentioned over here, if you want to release weight, eat less, eat better, and exercise more.

As a final note, a couple of rules of thumb regarding spam messages like the one above.

  1. It’s a scam. Legitimate businesses don’t advertise using spam
  2. Never click the link that says “unsubscribe.” You’ve just confirmed to these unethical dipweeds that your email address is real and active. It will be sold to other scumbags, and your level of spam will increase.

Be careful out there.

The Old Wolf has spoken.

To lose weight, take these drops (oh, and eat a 1200 calorie diet…)

homeopathy-debunked-because-its-just-water

It’s not good medicine for a representative of one nutritional product to bash those who rep for another. In my world of ethics, it’s just not done. As a result, I won’t mention any product names in this post, but I want to make a general comment about the way many weight-loss products are advertised and hyped.

Below you’ll find an example, using a homeopathic product as the teacher in the moment, which claims to flush fat and toxins out of your body.

The product concerned contains a panoply of things like Nux Vomica, Ignatia Amara, and about 8 others at 6x and 12x dilutions; the instructions call for placing 10-15 drops under the tongue three times a day.

Oh, yes… and also to eat a 125o-calorie diet while using the products (which cost $150.00 for a bottle of each).

The science behind homeopathic dilutions guarantees that at dilutions of 6X and 12X, there is virtually *no* active ingredient whatsoever in this product – no molecules are left. The physics of Avogadro’s number is incontrovertible.

If you consider the instructions for use of this product, and completely eliminate any reference to the product being referenced, any patient who faithfully complies with these guidelines will have success with weight loss.

Given the average caloric intake of 2,000 KCal for a female, a 1250 calorie diet will result in consistent weight loss, especially when combined with water intake and regular exercise. This weight loss will occur whether or not the patient

* takes homeopathic drops
* sings an aria from “Aida”
* stands on her head and spits nickels, or
* eats a spoonful of portland cement with each meal.

If you are a person of science and reason, you owe it to yourself to take a hard look at the scientific reality of what is going on with homeopathic or other similar weight-loss products, instead of being dazzled by all the marketing weasel words.

The Old Wolf has spoken.